Looney with a Capital I
by Teacup Biscuits
Summary: When Bugs gets in serious trouble and goes missing, to what lengths will Daffy go to defend and save him? Sorry for some potential OOC moments. Up to chapter 11, the story is divided into two segments per chapter: a "Present" segment and then a "Past" segment. Yaoi warning for later chapters.
1. Hop-là

All Daffy Duck could hear was screaming. Porky Pig was in the driver's seat, Yosemite Sam riding shotgun, and Bugs Bunny was to Daffy's right in the back.

The duck couldn't remember at that moment how exactly he'd got tangled up into this messed up scenario. In fact, he hardly even remembered what the scenario was until he saw a rocky pond or something approaching the front windshield at some great speed.

Daffy was surprised that Bugs, too, was screaming - so surprised that he himself nearly forgot to scream for dear life.

The last thing Daffy heard was the sound of the windshield smashing before everything went black.

* * *

"Hey, Bugsth! Bugsthie, old pal, hey!" Daffy shrieked as he hurried to a hole in the ground next to a white mailbox labeled "B. Bunny". From the hole, Daffy yanked Bugs out by the fur on his chest, jittering about wildly.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down t'ere, Daf! What is it?" Bugs asked.

"Read thisth paper!" Daffy shoved a small paper into Bugs' face, forcing the rabbit to move back a bit.

"Dear Daffy Duck, you have won the game." Bugs read in monotone.

"Well?! Well?!"

Bugs blinked at Daffy. "Ehh, I t'ink you just lost, doc."

Daffy's eyes deflated. "You're joking."

Suddenly, Elmer Fudd came into eyeshot, aiming a gun at Daffy. "Put yohw hands up, duck. It's Duck Season." He stated.

"Ohhh no, you don't!" Daffy pulled Bugs out of his hole and held him out towards Elmer. "Take him! It'sth Rabbit Stheasthon!"

Elmer seemed puzzled for a moment, but then he aimed the gun at Bugs' mouth. Panicking, Bugs turned towards Daffy and threw his arms about him.

"Whoa! What the-?!" Daffy was cut off.

"Ehh, haven't you _hoid_, doc? If you wanna shoot a couple, you've gotta shoot 'em both!" Without further pause, Bugs gave Daffy a big kiss. Elmer watched as Daffy melted in Bugs' arms, becoming a puddle of black soup at their feet.

"You disthgustht me." Daffy gurgled.

"_Oh_, Daffy~!" Bugs giggled femininely. "There are _kids_ watching!"

"RABBIT STHEASTHON - _FIRE_! !"

Bugs' ears drooped as he held up a sign that said "**Uh oh**".  
"_YIPE_! !" Bugs took off in a mad dash, barely avoiding Elmer's shotgun blast. He zipped back after a second with a turkey baster, sucking Daffy up into it. "D'is look familiar, Daf?"

"I _hate_ you."

Screaming, Bugs and the now-mostly-solid Daffy took off in a cloud of dust with Elmer giving chase not far behind. As they made their escape, Bugs abruptly dived into the ground, making Daffy skid to a halt.

"Oh! Great! You're sthafe, but what about mee_eEEE_!" Daffy shrieked when Bugs snatched him by the throat and pulled him into the narrow hole. "Geez! One of usth needsth to losthe sthome weight, and it's _not me_." The duck complained as he was suck nearly chest-to-chest with the rabbit he wasn't so fond of.

Bugs put a gloved finger to his lips with a smirk, causing Daffy to fall silent. For some reason, only at that point did Daffy notice the pipe between them. Perhaps it had only just appeared there, he wasn't too sure.

"Oh, little wabbit~! Come out, come out, whe'evaw you awe!" Elmer sung. Bugs only giggled as Elmer aimed down into the hole, thus into the pipe, and fired a shot that made Daffy's ears ring. The bullet clanged along inside the pipes and eventually stopped - following the end of the clanging, Elmer fell back.

Bugs started laughing. "What a _maroon_! What a _nin-com-poop_! What a-" Bugs stopped when he climbed out of the hole he and Daffy had been in. Daffy felt Bugs' go rigid; at least, his legs did - Daffy could tell since he hands were around the rabbit's calves, holding him up.

"What? What isth it?"

"... _Elmer_?" Bugs climbed the rest of the way out of the hole, leaving Daffy in there to try getting out on his own. "Hey, fat boy! _Speak_ to me!"

Daffy cursed as he managed to claw his way up to ground level, and when he did, he turned to see Bugs staring at him in a defensive position.

"D-... Daffy? Daf... Something's wrong."

Behind him, Elmer lay still in a puddle of blood.


	2. Faire Gaffe

"Daffy! Daffy, come on, wake up!"

"Uhmn..."

"Daffy, come on! S-speak to me!"

"B-... Bugsth...?" Daffy Duck opened his eyes a crack, trying to allow them time to adjust. "Bugsth, you look a lot more _pink_ than usthual..."

The pink blur turned its head from Daffy. "S-Sam, he's aw-aw-aw-awake!"

Daffy shook his head wildly. "Porky?"

"Th-that's me."

"What... Where'sth Bugsth?" Daffy asked as he sat upright.

Porky pointed behind himself to Bugs, soaking wet on the ground.  
"Breath, ya two-armed idjit rabbit! I hhhate rabbits!" Yosemite Sam shouted, beating at Bugs' chest wildly in some crude impersonation of CPR.

Daffy shot up to his feet and walked over, standing next to Bugs and looking down upon the drenched rabbit. He wondered briefly if he was the only one who noticed that Bugs was bleeding from somewhere.

"Yyyyou pesky varmit!" Sam growled at the unconscious rabbit. "Whoaaa!" He shouted when Daffy suddenly kicked him back into the water. "Whhyyy youuu...!"

Daffy fell to his knees next to Bugs, getting his left arm around the rabbit's shoulders and holding him up a little, his head rolling back and his ears still dragging across the ground. "Bugsth..." Daffy began shaking the rabbit. "Bugsth, come on, wake up...! Bugsth!"

When Bugs still refused to even stir on his own, Daffy actually started to cry a little. He hadn't even been able to place a bet on the rabbit's life, so if Bugs died, it would actually hinder his life, at least a little. Porky watched sadly, and for some reason noticing that gave Daffy an idea.

Porky helped Sam out of the water, and when he turned back, he found that Daffy had put Bugs on the ground and was... kissing him? "O-oh... Oh m-my."

Daffy broke the "kiss" and glared at Porky. "Oh, get your bowtie out of a knot." He said, forcing Porky to glance at his bowtie to see that it really was in a knot before he continued. "I'm resthutherating him!"

"You mean re-r-r-re-resus-r-_resuscitating_him?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you wanna call it, bub." With that said, Daffy started pushing down on Bugs' chest. Porky wanted to ask where the duck had learned first aid, but kept his mouth shut.

After another mouth-to-mouth attempt or two, Bugs started hacking up water. Daffy let out a quick gasp when the rabbit started groaning.

"Ehh... what's... what's up, ... _doc_...?"

Daffy emitted a high-pitched sound of glee and hugged the rabbit (who didn't seem to care at the moment) close. Porky smiled that Bugs was alive, but Sam kind of just sat there cussing with his arms crossed.

That's when the police car caught up.

* * *

"Bugsth... What..." Daffy was speechless staring at Elmer Fudd's body on the ground. The black color drained from his body, leaving him white and orange and looking even more like a goose than before.

"I don't..." Bugs stammered as he spoke, which was a tad unlike the rabbit.

The duo quietly stared at Elmer's body - for a long moment, neither of them knew what to do.

"... You..." Daffy started. "... You _killed_ him."

"Wh-what? No way, Daf, I-I... _I didn't kill him_! I'm sure he's just jokin'! Come on, fat boy, y've had yer fun - now get up!" Bugs argued.

"He ain't getting up, bud." Daffy said with a nonchalant manner as he examined the tips of his fingers. "He'sth definitely kicked the bucket."

"_Shut up_, Daffy!" Bugs countered in a panicked fury.

"Maybe sthomeone should call an ambulancthe."

"Yer right!" Bugs stiffened and blinked. "I can't believe I just said t'at t'you." Despite this, the rabbit pulled an old fashioned phone out of nowhere and made a call. "Hello? Yes, this is Bugs Bunny callin'. Uh... There's been an... an _accident_."

"_BUGSTH KILLED ELMER FUDD_!" Daffy shrieked into the phone.

Bugs only moved away and laughed nervously. "Ehh, he's just jokin' around, doc! ... Yeah? Yeah. Okay, d'anks."

"Well, what wasth sthaid?" Daffy asked loudly when Bugs hung up and tossed the old fashioned phone out of eyeshot.

"We should go now, Daf. Don't wanna be in t'e way when d'ey come t'pick up Elmer here." Bugs said, while seeming rather pococurante, as he started to walk past Daffy.

"Oh no, you don't!" Daffy grumbled, catching Bugs' arm and pulling it a bit to make the rabbit look at him. "Couplesthhh, sthtick together."

Bugs simply blinked. "You do know t'at I only did t'at t'confuse Elmer and t'annoy you, right, doc?"

Daffy let out a long "PFFFFT" which ended in him coughing and sputtering wildly. He took a deep breath before saying, "Of coursthe I know that! I'm justht teasthin' you, Bugsthie ol' pal!"

"... T'en let go of my arm."

"Oh, sthorry." Daffy let go of Bugs' arm and started trying to make the rabbit's fur flawless on it.

"Ehh... Daffy, you _alright_?" Bugs asked; he knew better than to resist the rather-uncharacteristic gesture from Daffy.

"Alright? I'm justht _fine_, Bugsth. Abstholutely _peachy_."

"Well, Daf, s'much as I appreciate whatever it is yer doin'... I've gotta bolt now." When the rabbit tried to run, Daffy's grip on his arm tightened, so he turned back again to gaze at the duck.

"You know who runsth, Bugsth?"

"A killer...?" A grim look came down upon the rabbit's face.

"Nnnooo... Sthpeedy. Geez, look who'sth become _Misthter Morbid Marvin_ over here all of the sthudden."

"You're right, Daffy. We should stay."

"Stht-sthtay?! We'll get arresthted if we sthtay!"

"Well, we're stayin'."

"No, we're going!"

"Stayin'."

"Going!"

"Stayin'."

"GOING!"

"Goin'."

"WE'RE _STHAYING_, AND THAT'STH _THAT_!" Daffy, grumbling, slouched over and crossed his arms.

"Whatever you say, Daffy." Bugs bent one of his knees. The two of them stood there in silence for about 5 seconds before Daffy realized what had happened and roared out in frustration. The duck turned to Bugs and started spitting out curses, and while he did this, Bugs simply reached behind himself and pulled out a poster board with a screw and a ball drawn on it.

Before the duo knew it, the ambulance was in front of them. The two uniformed people that stepped out from it sort of stared at Elmer Fudd's body, as if confused by the blood.

"Ehh... Wh-... What's up, doc...?" Bugs drawled nervously.

The two ambulance workers huddled together and began murmuring to each other. Daffy watched Bugs become more and more anxious to know what was being said, as the rabbit sort of tried to stick his ears right into the conversation.

When the chatty ambulance people noticed Bugs' ears, they glared at them until Bugs pulled them back with an uneasy huff.

Daffy got close to Bugs before mumbling, "I think we should _bolt_, Bugsth."

"_Bolt_? _Why_?" Bugs asked in a hushed voice.

"It'sth either bolt or have the police come and asthk usth questhtionsth. You look stho _guilty_ with the way you're sthtanding there!"

"I do...?" Bugs looked at himself.

Daffy facepalmed. "You _sthtupid_ sthon of a..."

Suddenly, the ambulance workers turned to face them. "Would one of you mind telling us what happened here?"

"... Uh... W-... _Um_..." Bugs stammered, not knowing what to say for once.

Daffy let out a loud, impatient sigh. "Why should we tell you dweebsth anything? You're not the copsth."

"That's true, but, I say, we'd like to know what happened."

"... Fair enough." Daffy responded cooly, making Bugs shoot him a sharp glare that he refused to even glance at.

"Ehh, Daf, I t'ink we need t-"

"Not now, Bugsth."

"No, I really t'ink we need t'_discuss_ what y-"

"I said not _now_, Bugsth!" Daffy cleared his throat. "Well, what happened wasth that Elmer here," The duck gestured at Elmer Fudd's body. "was hunting usth down, asth per norm. Bugsth jumped down into a conveniently placed rabbit hole, and I joined him down there. Bugsth had built sthome sthort of pipe sthysthtem to redirect Elmer's shot if he fired down the hole at usth, and he did, and then when we came out of the hole he wasth justht lyin' there like he isth now."

The ambulance workers turned their heads towards Bugs, who opened his mouth briefly, seemingly to defend himself, but he closed it after a minute and appeared to cower under their gazes somewhat.

"I see." said one of the workers.

All four of them were silent for a long moment.

"Ehh, doc... I don't suppose it'd help if I gave a lil' _mea culpa_?" Bugs said in a rather debonair fashion.

"Well, Mr. Bunny," started the other ambulance worker, a female. "you do have a history of being rather rectitudinous..."

Bugs smiled, but Daffy's eyeballs shrunk at such a big word.

"What in the world doesth _that_ mean?" The duck asked.

"It means that you're a prat." Bugs giggled and turned back to the ambulance workers. "Well, uh, my friend and I have, uh, well, we've gotta skedaddle if y'don't mind, Doc and Doc-ette."

"I say, must you go so soon, Mr. Bunny?" asked the male.

"Yeah... I, uh-" Bugs was elbowed in the stomach by Daffy for saying 'uh' too many times. "I promised Daffy here t'at we could have..." Bugs wrung out his mind for something, anything, and mumbled the only thing that came to his mind. "... pr-... private... ... time... ..."

"Don't chunter now, boy! Use your voice!"

"Sorry - gotta go!" Bugs jumped up and dove into the ground, hastefully burrowing a path that Daffy could follow.

"Oh, that Bugs Bunny is such a lollapalooza, isn't he?" The girl asked her partner.

"I suppose s-" Both of them fell silent when they heard a noise.

Elmer Fudd was _groaning_, albeit weakly.


	3. Être la Canard Noire

Daffy Duck stood next to Porky Pig, who was draped with a towel and trying to explain (while stuttering, mind you) why the four of them had driven away from the police in the first place.

The duck had refused to be given a towel, seeing as he was a duck and all. He turned and looked over at Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam.

Sam was cussing about 'not needing much medical attention' or something and was threatening to shoot wildly if people from the ambulance didn't stop touching him.

However, Bugs was simply sitting on the backmost part of the ambulance. His head had a bandage wrapped around it, and he seemed almost out of character with the way he just sort of stared off into space.

Daffy walked over to the rabbit, walking in front of him before sitting beside him against the ambulance. "... It sthure hasth been a long night, huh, Bugsth?"

Bugs said nothing. He didn't even acknowledge that Daffy had said anything, or for that matter, that he was even there.

Daffy studied Bugs' profile, then tried to figure out what it was exactly that the rabbit was staring at.

"It's broke, Daffy. It's _broken_."

Daffy whipped his head around to look at Bugs when he muttered that. "What? What'sth broken?"

Bugs said no more.

"Bugsth? Bugsth, you sthtill with me?"

The two sat there in silence for a few seconds when suddenly Bugs looked down at his lap and started to cry, startling Daffy.

"Whoa, Bugsth, _geez_! What'sth _up_ with you? You're not acting like yoursthelf!"

Bugs buried his face in the towel draped over his shoulders and gestured for Daffy to leave him be with his right hand.

Daffy did so timidly, returning to Porky's side. "Hey, Porky?"

Porky looked up at Daffy. "Y-y-ye-y-yeah, Daffy?"

Daffy pointed his thumb back at Bugs. "What do you think'sth up with Bugsth?"

The pig looked over at the rabbit, who had suddenly curled up like an emotional wreck. A look of concern flashed over his face for a moment. "He's probably just st-str-str-stre-st-s-shell-shocked."

"He sthaid sthomething wasth broken."

"What?"

"I dunno. He wasth justht sthtaring at nothin', then he sthaid '_It'sth broke, Daffy. It'sth broken_.' I asthked him what he meant by that, but then he justht sthtarted crying."

The look of concern reappeared on Porky's face as he continued to gaze at the rabbit.

Daffy was beginning to generate his own idea for why Bugs was crying. His idea was that Bugs was only crying as a trick - given a few minutes or so he'd probably be hopping around, munching on a carrot, and mocking Daffy for showing him compassion and sympathy.  
Not today.

"Uh, Daffy?" Porky tried to attract the duck's attention as he started to walk back to Bugs.

Bugs looked up at Daffy when the duck stopped in front of him.

"Don't think I'm going to fall for thisth little _facade_ here, Bugsth. I know what kind of trick you're playing."

Bugs furrowed his brow in frustration, his nose rutilant and tears streaking his muzzle as he glared at Daffy. "A trick? You t'ink d'is is a _trick_? You t'ink my tears are nut'in but a big joke, is d'at it?"

"Yep. I think they're nothing but joukery-pawkery." Daffy said coolly.

Bugs shot to his feet - the towel around his shoulders falling to the ground - and wrapped his hands around Daffy's slender neck, squeezing tightly and pulling their faces close together to emphasize his watery-eyed death glare. "I should _kill you_ _where you stand_." He snarled, showing off his teeth.

Porky hurried over. "G-g-guys! Break it up!"

Bugs shoved the petrified Daffy away from himself and picked up the towel he'd dropped. "Leave me alone, Daffy. Just _leave me alone_."

* * *

Bugs Bunny clambered out of the burrow he'd made, turning back to help Daffy Duck out as well.

"You sthure took usth pretty far." Daffy grumbled as he started brushing the dirt out of his feathers. He waited for Bugs to make his typical 'left turn at Alberquerque' joke, but the rabbit didn't say a word. "Bugsth?"

The rabbit was petrified, staring up at something, his jaw hanging open.

"... Bugsth?" Daffy looked up and shrieked.

Bugs watched as what he had been staring at collided with Daffy, their faces smashed together as Daffy skid across the ground on his back from the force of the hit.  
"_Ough_..." He groaned, cringing for dramatic effect. "Daf, you okay?"

Daffy threw the object that hit him off of himself. "Justht _peachy_." He grumbled.

"Well, woid ya look who it is!" Bugs stood looking down at Wile E. Coyote, who was covered in soot. It looked as though he'd just blown himself up. "You need a hand, Mac?"

The coyote hesitantly locked his hand with Bugs', getting the rabbit's right-hand white glove stained a little as he was yanked up to his feet.

"What'sth the big idea, bud?!" Daffy shouted as he stomped over, getting up in Wile E.'s face. "Don't ya know it's _rude_ to hit _royalty_?!"

Bugs tapped Wile E.'s shoulder to get his attention. "Don't mind him, Doc. He's one delusional duck." As he said this, he pulled out a carrot and started munching on it while leaning against the coyote beside him.

"Bugsth, let me tell you where you can shove that carrot."

Bugs only snickered in response. As the two of them "argued", Wile E. simply stood there, wanting nothing more than to leave and go back to hunting the Roadrunner.

"You're _desthpicable_!"

"You say that about everyt'in', Daffy!"

"Oh _yeah_?!"

"Come on, Daf, y'know i-"

"I've never sthaid it about a _murderer_ 'til now, _have_ I?!"

Bugs tensed up and stopped laughing. All humor disappeared from his expression, and he nearly dropped his half-eaten carrot.

Wile E. cautiously glanced at the two of them, back and forth between them. He felt he could raise a claw and carve something into the awkward silence that had suddenly formed, but he didn't dare move anything other than his head.

Daffy stood his ground when Bugs walked over, a hand on his hip, and he looked up into the rabbit's black eyes. "What are you gonna do - sthmack me with a carrot?"

Bugs threw his carrot aside and abruptly sunk his fist into Daffy's cheek with enough force to knock the duck over roughly onto the ground. When Wile E. stepped forward to restrain him, he simply put his hand out a bit and said, "The joik had it comin'."

Daffy spat up a little bit of blood and glared up at Bugs. "What, can't handle the truth?"

"I'm not a moidoirah. It was an accident, Daffy, an _accident_."

"That'sth what you'll try to make everyone and their grandmothersth believe, but in the end, you'll sthtill have histh blood on your gloved handsth."

Bugs scoffed and turned away. "I'm not gonna let ya make my life misuhrable. Life's too shoit for me t'have t'deal wit' your nonsense."

"Oh, stho you're justht gonna run away from your problemsth, isth that it? I alwaysth _knew_ you were a _coward_."

Bugs' hands slowly balled back into fists, but then he unballed them, trying to calm down. He looked at Wile E. and noticed how confused the poor coyote looked.  
"It's a _long_ story, Doc. You might as well run along now - I soitainly know _I_ am."

"Wait, you're _leaving_ me?" Daffy sat up straight. "You're going to _leave_ me in the _desthert_? With no water? With no form of transthportathion?"

"Yep." Bugs said carelessly as he started whistling. He walked past Wile E., who turned his torso to watch him.

"You... _You_... _You lousthy, no-good, sthpoiled, sthmug, illiterate, chowderbrained nutcasthe_!" Daffy screamed as a retaliation - Bugs drowned his curses out by whistling louder.

Daffy turned and huffed, crossing his arms. He stood there steaming for a moment before he whipped around. "What the heck are you _sthtarin'_... at...?" When he turned, he saw that Wile E. had left. "Where...?"

Bugs walked with a slight hop in his step as he kept whistling. His voice was starting to break a bit, but he didn't really care - whistling was better than the alternative, which would be to scream out his frustrations.  
Suddenly, he felt a presence behind him, so he turned around.

"Oh! It's you. Are you followin' me, Doc?" He said to Wile E. in a friendly tone. Next thing he knew, however, he had been shoved against a canyon wall, trapped there by the coyote, who had his hands placed on either side of him.  
"Ehh... What's up, Coyote?"

The coyote grabbed Bugs' ears, tugging them a little. In response, Bugs reached for his hand.

"Hey, don't tou-"

Before Bugs could finish his scolding, Wile E. pulled his ears to the side, throwing him to the hot ground in a similar manner to how Daffy had fell.

"Ow! Hey, what's d'e big idea, Mac?! Nobody manhandles _me_ unless _I_ say so, and I-_ack_!" He choked on words when Wile E.'s soot-covered hands wrapped around his throat, pressing down toward the ground. His own hands shot for Wile E.'s in an attempt to pry them off of himself.

Wile E. watched Bugs' features distort in discomfort, his teeth grit and eyes shut tightly, with some degree of satisfaction. He knew he was much stronger (and smarter since he _was_ a _super genius_) than the rabbit below him, so unless the duck decided to make an appearance, his prey was helpless.

Eventually, Bugs stopped resisting. His hands fell slack, and he slipped into unconsciousness, having been strangled nearly to death.

Wile E. liked his lunch to be alive during preparations.


	4. Avaler des Couleuvres

"Mr. Bunny, I'd just like to ask you a few questions."

Daffy Duck sat against the hood of the police car, watching an officer try to coax Bugs Bunny into speaking. He didn't see why the officer was so persistent - Bugs hadn't spoken a single coherent word since Daffy falsely accused him of faking his emotions; even if he did speak for some reason, it wasn't likely the hare would tell him anything.

"Mr. Bunny, _please_."

"You're fightin' a losthin' battle, busthter."

"Excuse me?"

"I _sthaid_, you're fightin' a losthin' battle. He ain't gonna talk to you."

"Why not?"

"Don't asthk _me_. He'sth weird right now."

When the officer continued trying to goad Bugs to speak, Daffy turned his head and sighed. "Why do I even _bother_?"

Porky Pig strolled over to Daffy and stood next to him, watching Bugs from there. "D-d-d-do you think Bugs is a-a-al-okay, Daffy?"

"I dunno, Porky. But I find mysthelf hopin' stho. He'sth the only one that can get usth outta thisth messth."

That was when Bugs suddenly looked up at the inquiring officer in front of him.

"Pipe _down_, Doc. You're givin' me a headache..."

"_Please_, Mr. Bunny. Tell me what happened in your own words."

"My _own_ woids, eh? Who else's woids would I use? Anyways... You wanna know what happened...?" Bugs' eyes gained a faraway look as he tried to reflect upon what had happened to him as of late.

* * *

"And... _action_!"

The set before the camera was empty apart from a forest backdrop.

Daffy Duck walked into the shot from the side. "Ehh... what'sth up, bub?"

"CUT, CUT, _CUT_! That's not right!"

Daffy sighed in frustration. "I thought I did good!"

"Where's Bugs?" was murmured in variations throughout the production crew. Hearing this, Daffy pulled out his script and whipped it to the floor before storming off-screen.

"All they want isth that damned sthmug little rabbit-hare hybrid... Can't they sthee that _I_ have talent to offer? I've got more talent in a _sthingle feather_ than _Bugsth hasth_ in _histh entire body_!" He argued at a mirror.

His reflection leaned against the desk before itself and gazed boredly at its fingertips. "Then maybe you should go find him and bring him back. You know, to prove it to them." It said.

"_Find him and bring him back_? Are you _nutsth_? I'm in heaven here without Bugsth!"

"You're on the verge of losthin' your job. Facthe it, busthter - your career isth nothin' without Bugsth."

"What?! That'sth _not_ true! Take that back before I make you!"

"Then make me!"

"Oooohhh, yyyyou asked for it! Hiiiii-ya!" Daffy slammed his fist into the mirror, cutting his hand between his two rightmost knuckles (on his right hand). "Ouch! Why I oughta..."

"D-D-Daffy?"

Daffy whipped his head around to gaze upon Porky Pig, who was standing in the doorway of Daffy's miniscule dressing room. He quickly hid his injured hand behind his back as he spoke. "Porky?"

"Wh-w-wh-who are you t-talking to?"

"A handsthome duck whosthe life is fallin' apart the longer he procrasthinatesth." Daffy replied in a half-sarcastic, half-solemn tone.

"Oh, I-I see." Porky responded. "Wh-where's Bugs?"

"Heck if I know." Daffy turned again, staring in the shattered mirror. "Maybe he'sth in hidin'."

"In h-h-hiding?"

Again, Daffy turned. "Yeah. You heard about what happened to Elmer, didn't you?"

Porky nodded grimly. "Some sort of a-a-ac-a-a-i-incident."

"Bugsth wasth-" For some reason, Daffy stopped himself.

"Bugs was _what_?"

"... Bugsth wasth the firstht to find histh body. Maybe it sthcared him. I'm not sthure." He wasn't sure why exactly he was covering for Bugs; he just was.

"Oh... Th-that's terrible...!"

Daffy only nodded weakly in response.

"W-well, I hope he gets well..." Porky awkwardly shuffled out.

Once the pig was gone, Daffy leaned his head down against the desk. "... Sthtupid. You're a sthtupid idiot." He mumbled to himself. "You're a sthtupid idiot, and you've gotta be the _hero_ for oncthe in your _mistherable_ life." He looked up at his shattered reflection.

"You'll get a reward out of thisth." It added.

With that in mind, Daffy turned and left his dressing room to begin his search for Bugs Bunny.


	5. Doux comme un Agneau Froid aux Yeux

Bugs Bunny remained silent.

"Mr. Bunny?" beckoned the officer that knelt in front of him.

Daffy Duck walked over. "Leave him be, Mac. He'sth probably havin' a concussthion."

Porky Pig, having heard this from where he stood, facepalmed.

Daffy waved his hand in front of Bugs' face. "Bugsth, ya in there still? Bugsth?"

Bugs slowly stood, staring off at something. He dropped the towel that had been draped around him again, and he started to walk in a cautious matter towards where he was staring.

Daffy watched the rabbit's strange behavior with a raised brow. "... _Bugsth_?"

Bugs stopped beside the body of water Porky's car had crashed into. He stared down into the water, perhaps at his reflection, and suddenly dropped to his knees, tugging at his ears and wailing.

For a moment, nobody did anything but stare at the hysterical rabbit. Daffy, however, soon stepped closer and reached his hand out toward him.

"B-... Bugsth, hey, _re_-"

Bugs' eyes snapped over to Daffy, locking him in place. He tugged his ears down over his head rougher.

Silence encompassed everyone at the scene.

"_It's not real_." Bugs whispered abruptly.

"Wh-" Before Daffy could finish, Bugs started sobbing again. The only response Daffy could muster was to roll his eyes and let out a huff. "I _give up_." He turned to walk away from Bugs.

"_Daffy_!" Bugs shouted desperately as he suddenly whipped around and threw himself forward, tugging on the duck's arm and nearly yanking him down as he himself fell to the ground.

"Whoa, geez, Bugsth! Quit it!"

"D-D-Daffy, wait!" Porky called. "L-let him do whatever he w-wa-w-likes."

"_What_?" Daffy narrowed his eyes.

"Your feathers are _soft_, Daf..." Bugs plucked one of the duck's feathers out.

"_Ack_! Knock it _off_, you _sthtupid_-"

"D-_Daffy_!" Porky shouted scoldingly.

"No, no. Let him finish, Porky. Let him say _whatever he wants_." Bugs responded in a strange tone.

Daffy fell silent, feeling under pressure due to Bugs' stare. Bugs still had tears in his eyes, but Daffy could have sworn the rabbit had the smallest smile on his face; yet a smile nevertheless.

* * *

When Bugs Bunny woke up, he quickly realized he couldn't move. For a moment he thought he was still asleep because he couldn't see either, but it didn't take long for him to come to the conclusion that something was tied around his eyes.

"Ehh... Anybody there?"

He got no response, but he almost felt as if someone had just let go of his shoulder.

"Hey, Mac, what's d'e big idea? Tyin' me up like d'is... You should be ashamed of-" Bugs stopped when some sort of object was shoved into his mouth. He considered spitting it out, but then he realized it was a carrot, so he started chewing on it like a teething baby chews on a pacifier.

Given about thirty seconds, Bugs had managed to finish the carrot, and he spat out the leafy part at the end. "Am I dreamin', Doc? Because d'is is one messed up sort of dream. Can I at least see what's going on around me?"

At his request, the blindfold was removed, and he saw himself staring straight into the eyes of Wile E. Coyote.

"... _Ehh_, what's up, _Coyote_?"

Wile E. raised his hand and flicked Bugs on the nose, making the rabbit's face twitch. The coyote then stifled a laugh and turned away.

Bugs was a little confused until he saw the pot that Wile E. was returning to. "Oh! Whatcha makin', Doc?"

Wile E. stood still in front of the pot for a moment before he turned around quickly and threw something at Bugs. Bugs cringed, shutting his eyes tightly, and heard something hit the wall between his ears. Looking up revealed that Wile E. had thrown a knife at him, and it had just narrowly missed his head. It had punctured the wall inches above him, and barely avoided impaling his long ears.

Bugs' ears fell as he kept staring up at the knife, and he gulped. Wile E. expressed his pleasure at Bugs' obvious anxiety by smiling widely and returning to the pot.

"I've gotta find a way _outta_ d'is..." Bugs muttered to himself as he looked around. The knife would have been useful if it wasn't so high up, and as it was now, it was actually a bit of a problem.

Eventually, Bugs sighed grimly. He was in real peril at this moment. Usually he'd have the upperhand with the help of the animators and knowledge on the script, but as it was, he was wrapped up tightly in some sort of blanket and nailed to a wall with a knife above his head and no knowledge on how this would play out.  
What he needed was assistance, or at least knowledge on how to trick Wile E. - the coyote of the cartoons was more gullible than normal due to the script, he could bet.

"... Uh, Doc..." He sighed again. "Could I have another carrot while I t'ink of a way to mess wit' your head?"

Wile E. nodded gracefully, only to ponderously shove another carrot into Bugs' mouth.

Bugs wanted to say, "D'anks, Doc," but his mouth was full.


	6. Charabia de un Guignard

Daffy Duck sat in the hospital waiting room. Of everyone in the car at the time of the crash, he had sustained the least injuries and had refused medical treatment - instead, he decided to just chill out and read a magazine; he did just that.

Bugs Bunny had screamed bloody murder when he was pulled into the ambulance back at the scene of the crash. At least, he had screamed bloody murder until Daffy got into the back of the ambulance with him.

Together, they had been sat in the back of the vehicle as it started to drive - they sat across from each other and sort of looked around awkwardly.  
Daffy started to reflect on what was said.

"... Sorry about your fead'er, Doc."

"Alright."

Another period of silence overpowered them for a long moment.

"... Are you doin' okay, Bugsth?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"You justht stheemed like you were... _falling apart,_ back there, isth all."

"I'm okay."

"You sthure?"

"Yeah, I'm... I'm sure."

"Whatever you sthay."

Bugs stared down at his hands.

"What did you mean before?"

"Pardon?" Bugs looked up at Daffy, making eye contact with the duck.

"About sthomethin bein' broken and sthomethin' not bein' real."

Bugs averted his eyes.

"Well?"

"It's... It's _nut'in'_, Daf. Nut'in's broken."

"Becausthe it'sth not real?"

Bugs nodded subconsciously.

"But what isth '_it_'?"

Bugs shook his head and ran his hand down his face. "I dunno anymore, Daffy. I'm _exhausted_."

Daffy watched Bugs, gazing over him from head to toe and really seeing him for once.

The rabbit's fur was somewhat matted in some places. His gloves, at one point white, were now rather dirty. His ears were drooping a little. He had little injuries "_passim_" on his body - claw marks in some places. He had a bandage wrapped tightly around his left forearm that Daffy hadn't noticed before.

"What'sth that wound from?"

"What?" Bugs raised his head, revealing his face for examination - his eyelids looked bruised and had bags under them, and there was a certain look in his eyes that Daffy couldn't quite define.

"That wound on your arm." Daffy gestured towards Bugs' forearm, making him look down at it.

"You don't remember?"

"No. I never knew that wasth there 'til now."

Bugs' tired eyes focused on the wall of the ambulance beside Daffy. He shook his head briefly. "I don't wanna talk about it right now, Daf... Daf?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I sit next to you?"

"That'sth a weird questhtion."

Taking that as a 'yes', Bugs carefully stood in the back of the ambulance. He sat to Daffy's right, closer to the back doors of the vehicle. When the two of them locked eyes for a moment, Bugs flashed a weary smile.

Daffy didn't smile back. The most he did was give Bugs an uncharacteristically concerned gaze. In response to this, Bugs' ears seemed to droop more. His smile turned into a solemn half-frown and he went back to staring at his hands in his lap.

"Sorry fer gettin' you involved, Doc."

"Huh?"

"None of d'is is really _your_ problem, is it?" He said with a hint of irony in his tone. However, Daffy mistook it for sarcasm.

"Sthupid, of _coursthe_ it'sth _my_ problem."

Bugs started rambling about things Daffy couldn't connect to the scenario and thus could make no sense out of. He decided to just ignore the rabbit, and he did well until he suddenly felt something lay against his lap. Looking down in a startled manner, Daffy was surprised to see that Bugs had leaned over and was now laying the side of his head down on Daffy's lap.

Bugs yawned. He didn't seem to have any plans of moving, nor did it seem that he'd accidentally mistaken Daffy for a pillow of some sort as the duck had initially assumed.

At first, Daffy wasn't sure what to do.

"_Sorry_, Daf..." Bugs drawled, half-asleep already.

By the time Daffy relaxed enough to speak, Bugs was already fast asleep. The duck let out a short sigh as he placed right hand down gently upon Bugs' right arm.

"It'sth _okay_, Bugsth."

* * *

Daffy Duck marched to Bugs Bunny's burrow, made apparent by the white mailbox beside the hole. He'd gone alone, but only because he was too stubborn to ask for assistance in finding Bugs.  
The duck got on his knees and stuck his head into the deep hole.

"Bugsth! Hey, Bugsth! You in there?!"

No answer from within the rabbit hole.

"You're late for filmin'! Wake up!"

No answer.

"_Bu~ugsth_!"

No answer.

Daffy scoffed loudly. "Fine then!" He stood and crossed his arms. "Who _needs_ ya?!"

Daffy stood there for a moment, then he sighed. "Where the heck _isth_ he...?"

The duck thought about the last time he'd seen Bugs - in the desert when Bugs stormed off. Wile E. Coyote had disappeared with him...

Daffy managed to put two and two together, and he went blank-faced for a moment. "What _if_...? But, no, Bugsth... Bugsth wouldn't let himsthelf get captured like that. Unlessth... Unlessth he _wanted_ me to go after him in a sthituation like this and beg for him to come back to me on handsth and kneesth!" Daffy's level of fury soared. "I'll be _sthtruck by lightnin'_ before I sthave that j-"

Daffy was cut off when he was struck by lightning.

In a daze, he held up a hand. "I'll sthee _pigsth fly_ before I sthave-"

Porky Pig suddenly flew by. He was screaming, but was still flying nevertheless.

"... I'll sthee a _cat in a tophat get hit by a double-decker busth_ before I-" Daffy stopped himself, expecting to see his words come true, but instead he was zapped by lightning again.


	7. L'Plumes ne Fait Pas le Arnaqueur

Daffy Duck's magazine-reading was cut short when Bugs Bunny stepped in front of him. He put the magazine down and looked up at the rabbit - the bandages around his head and left forearm were clean and professionally applied now.

"Hey, Daffy." He said in a relaxed way.

Daffy stood up. "You ready to leave?"

"I reckon so."

"You know we're gonna have to walk our way back, right?"

"Yeah."

Daffy shrugged. "Alright then, let'sth go."

As the two of them started walking out, perfectly content with leaving Porky Pig and Yosemite Sam at the hospital (considering they hadn't already left), a voice suddenly shouted, "You! Hey, _you_!"

Bugs stiffened his posture - even his whiskers stood out - and his eyes widened. His mouth and nose twitched a little.

"Who in the...?" Daffy turned around, and then he mimicked Bugs.

Elmer Fudd limped over in a hospital gown. "You pesky wabbit! You're the weason I'm in hee-ah!"

Bugs spun around slowly and almost unrealistically. "E-_Elmer_~! Nice seein' ya here, Doc! But, uh, _ah hah_, I've - _uh_ - I've gotta _skidd_-"

"You ah-n't going _nowheh-ah_, wabbit!"

People were beginning to stare now at the scene near the entrance. Daffy watched Bugs become more and more distressed with every pair of ears that started listening.

"Now hold on _justht_ a minute, _pal_!" Daffy stood in front of Bugs. "You got put in here of your _own_ accord!"

"_Damned_ if I did! It's that _nasty_ wabbit's fault! Both of you wan away and left me foh dead! _Both of you_!"

Daffy turned his head a little in the direction of Bugs. "Bugsth, go on, get out of here."

"Daffy?"

"I won't let him get by me. Get back to your little hole in the ground, Bugsth - you shouldn't have to _listhten to thisth_."

A genuine smile slowly crept onto Bugs' face. "D'anks, Daf. I owe you." He leaned over and kissed the duck's cheek.

Daffy's beak flushed, turning a scarlet orange-red shade, but when he freed his eyes from their locked-wide position, he growled, "Don't push your _luck_, _bub_."

Bugs turned and hesitantly left the hospital, leaving Daffy to wrestle with the cussing and red-faced-with-rage Elmer.

* * *

Daffy Duck trudged through the desert grumpily, kicking sand as he walked.

The Roadrunner ran over beside him, making him shriek and nearly jump out of his feathers.

"What do you want?"

"Beep beep?"

"You wanna know where the coyote isth?"

"Beep!"

"Sthorry, that'sth what I'm trying to figure out mysthelf."

"Beep?"

"I think he kidnapped my fr-..." Daffy stopped himself. "... my _co-worker_."

"Ptbptbptbptbptbptb!" Roadrunner blew a raspberry and ran off, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake.

"What a _sthnob_." Daffy grumbled. The duck continued on his way, trying to find Wile E. Coyote's den. Cave. _Whatever_ he stayed in - Daffy wasn't sure.

Nearly 15 minutes passed before, as he walked, the scent of some sort of stew wafted to Daffy's nostrils. Following the smell, Daffy was lead to a little opening in a canyon wall.  
Glancing inside, Daffy saw Wile E. had his back turned to the opening. He was standing in front of a giant pot, stirring the contents gently.  
Quietly, Daffy took a step inside to get a better look of the whole room.

Bugs Bunny, to Daffy's right, shot the duck a wide-eyed stare. What had at one point been a blindfold was now wrapped around his mouth, more-or-less preventing him from speaking. He was wrapped tightly from collarbone-to-toes in a grungy white cloth that was nailed to the wall against his back.

Daffy almost gasped, but he managed to cover his mouth before he made a noise. He looked quickly over at Wile E. to see if he'd alerted him, but was pleased to see that the coyote was still enraptured by the pot in front of him. He then cautiously turned his attention back to Bugs.

Bugs was still staring at Daffy with an uncharacteristically helpless expression. Daffy noticed the hammer was close by, but to grab it, he'd have to risk entering Wile E.'s peripheral vision.

Daffy looked back once again at Bugs. The rabbit apparently knew what he was planning, and in response he quietly shook his head.

Daffy took two of his fingers and the palm of his other hand and made a gesture with it that he could just quickly snatch the hammer and jump in for the kill, no pun intended.

Bugs shook his head again, but this time gestured with his ears toward the exit, telling Daffy to just leave.

Misinterpreting this gesture, Daffy backed away to the exit and lunged for the hammer, making a lot of noise in the process. Wile E. whipped around to see Daffy standing on the table that the hammer had been on, holding said hammer in a threatening manner.

"Hey, pal, you'd better let my pal go _right now_, lestht I show you the wrath of _Duck Dodgersth_!"


	8. Ne pas être dans Son Assiette

When Elmer Fudd was eventually tamed by doctors and nurses, Daffy Duck ran out, half to avoid confrontation from people who had witnessed the argument and half to catch up with Bugs.

The duck ended up slamming right into Bugs as he turned a corner, causing both of them to roll over onto the sidewalk in a somewhat tangled mess of legs and arms.

"Ehh..." Bugs muttered. "... What's up, _Duck_?"

"How did we get stho tangled?"

Bugs shrugged, staring up into Daffy's eyes. "I can't feel anyt'ing right now, and your forearm's holdin' my neck in place, so I can't tell how tangled we are."

Daffy looked at their predicament. "Funny. If we're not tangled, why do I feel like I can't move?"

"Daf, d'ya break your spine ag'in?" Bugs giggled.

"That wasth one time! _One time_!"

Both of them fell silent, though Bugs had a small smile on his face.

Daffy found himself gently rubbing the scruff on Bugs' cheek, to which the rabbit's smile disappeared.

"What _happened_ to usth, Bugsth?"

"You slammed into m-"

"No, no, sthtupid, not _that_. What happened to _usth_?"

Bugs averted his eyes. "I dunno, Daf. You changed. I didn't. I guess d'at's what happened." He said this in a detached tone, as if he didn't want to discuss this with Daffy.

"We usthed to be stho closthe..."

"I know. We'd better go now; I t'ink people are starting to stare."

Daffy looked around to see that the rabbit underneath him was right. "Alright, what'sth stho darn interesthtin'?! Go on, _get_!" He shooed them away.

"Let's just _go_, Daf... I'm tired." As if to emphasize this point, Bugs yawned.

Daffy scowled a little and stood before helping Bugs to his feet. They walked together side by side for a while, but then Bugs started to gradually lag behind. Eventually, Daffy had to look back to see if Bugs was still following.

Bugs had his head down and his ears were drooping, but he _was_ still following; he shuffled his feet slowly and after about 20 seconds, caught up to Daffy.

"Bugsth?" Daffy placed his hand on Bugs' shoulder, and apparently seeing this as a cue, Bugs' legs went slack at the touch. "_Ohp_!" Daffy caught him, but just barely.

"Hnnmn... I'm... I'm still _'wake_..." Bugs grumbled. He did appear to be asleep, or at the very least falling rapidly towards it, though.

Daffy sighed and took Bugs' left arm, draping it over his own shoulders. He wrapped his own right arm around Bugs' waist to help himself support the rabbit's weight, and then resumed walking.  
"Let'sth get you _home_, pal."

* * *

"Not gonna move?!" Daffy shouted at Wile E. Coyote, who stood calmly in front of him. The duck raised the hammer he held higher and let out a loud battle cry before throwing himself at the coyote.

Next thing Daffy knew, Wile E. had him against the wall opposite to Bugs Bunny by the neck, throttling him and shaking him about to hit him against the wall now and then.

From where he was, Daffy had a clear-but-constantly-moving view of Bugs' face - the rabbit's eyes were wide and empty looking from shock (or was it concern?) and fear, and his mouth hung open behind the gag that prevented him from talking.

Daffy choked out a bit. He realized he was still holding the hammer, so he lift his slender black-feathered arm and hit Wile E. over the head with it with as much strength as he could muster.

The coyote retaliated by throwing the duck to his own right, Daffy's left. Only then did either of them hear Bugs' muffled cries, and in response to them, Wile E. actually removed the gag.

"_DAFFY_!" was the first thing Bugs shouted when he became aware that he could speak clearly.

Wile E. pinched Bugs' left cheek, pulling it a little; Bugs grit his teeth and tightly shut his left eye, and a small tear started to form against his eyelashes.

"Don't you _touch_ him!" Daffy roared as he got back to his feet. "He'sth _mine_ to abusthe!" That said, Daffy let out another battle cry and against lunged at Wile E.

The two got onto a giant fight on the floor near Bugs that resulted in a cloud of dust forming at Bugs' feet.

"_Daffy_! Daffy, _STOP_!" Bugs shouted.

Daffy's head raised from the still-churning dust cloud. "_Sthtop_? Why?"

"Don't hoit him!"

Daffy froze, and seeing this made Wile E. hesitate, so the cloud dissipated. "'_Don't hurt him_'? Bugsth, _what happened_ to you?"

"Look, just don't _hoit_ him, _please_!"

"Stho you _want_ him to cook you alive and eat you?!"

"... Not particularly, but..." Bugs looked away. He seemed almost... abashed? A nervous smile on his lips, Bugs muttered, "But I t'ink I... I t'ink I might... be havin' a li'l bit of _Stock-hole-m_ fer him..."

Daffy leap to his feet and slapped Bugs a little. "Sthnap out of it, pal! Thisth isthn't you!"

"_Look_, Doc," Bugs said to Wile E. "If you let me go, I promise I won't run away so long as you keep givin' me d'ose _de_~lish carrots."  
It seemed to Daffy that Bugs had said this with a flirty undertone to his voice, so his beak fell off.

Wile E. kicked the stunned duck off balance and stood, seeming to actually give Bugs' offer some thought. It _would_ save him the trouble of undoing his bonds later and having to risk him run away...

Daffy watched as Wile E. picked up the hammer Daffy had dropped and started to pull the nails from the wall to free the blanket containing Bugs from the wall. "You're _kiddin'_."

His hand placed on Bugs' chest to prevent the rabbit from immediately falling over, Wile E. removed all of the nails. He grabbed a corner of the blanket and tugged harshly at it, causing it to uncurl, and Bugs was whipped spinning out of it. He slammed into the wall and fell onto his tail as cartoony stars circled his head.

Daffy stood up behind Wile E., trying to figure out what in the world just happened - no more than a few seconds ago the situation had been a dramatic fight in which Daffy was the hero, and with just a few words Bugs had managed to jilt Daffy yet again and had changed the situation into an awkwardly romantic _ploy_?

Bugs stood as well and brushed off his tail before looking at the two in front of him. Actually, he could only see Wile E., at least until Daffy shoved past him.

"Alright, busthter! You're going to have to choosthe which one of usth you want to go with. _Me_, the _sthuave, handsthome duck_ who came all this way to resthcue _you_, or _him_, the _psthychotic and sthtarved coyote_ who sthpendsth histh daysth getting _brutally mauled_ by _histh own handiwork_."

Bugs brought a finger to his lips in thought, his free hand moving to his elbow. "_Hmm_..."

"Do you really need to _think_ about thisth?!"

Bugs dropped his hands with a tight-lipped smile. "No, I _don't_."

"Good. Then let'sth go, Bugsth." Daffy walked out. He stopped a few feet out when he realized that he didn't hear Bugs behind him, and then he turned back and looked into the coyote's den. "Bugsth?"

Peering inside, he saw Bugs giving Wile E. a hug. Wile E. was rather blank-faced about it.

"OH FER _CHRISTHT'STH STHAKE_! _BUGSTH_!" Daffy roughly grabbed the rabbit's right forearm and tugged him away. This maneuver worked for a couple quick steps until Bugs howled out a loud "_YIPE_!" and Daffy turned back.

Bugs tugged his left forearm free from Wile E., who had grabbed it and thus raked his claws into it. The rabbit, now trembling a little, held the wounded arm close to his chest as it started to bleed profusely.

Daffy snarled at Wile E. "How _dare_ you?! Come on, Bugsth, we'll deal with him later! Let'sth get out of here!"

"Daffy, _no_! Let _go of me_!" Bugs demanded desperately as Daffy started running, dragging him along against his will. He turned back and saw Wile E. leaning against the doorway of his little den, licking Bugs' blood off of his claws like the animal he was.  
He gave Bugs a long look that Bugs read as meaning that he was done for the time being, but this wouldn't be the _last_ they'd see of each other. The thought itself gave Bugs a feeling of both elation and immense fear.


	9. S'entendre comme Canard et Lièvre

Daffy Duck made the long trip from the hospital to Bugs Bunny's burrow, carrying the rabbit along the duration of the travel. When they arrived at the rabbit hole, Daffy clambered in, only to fall. He nearly screamed, but it wasn't a long drop, and the landing didn't wake the sleeping bunny.

Daffy huffed a bit and lift Bugs back up, putting him into his bed and tucking the blanket up to his chin. He thought about going back home himself, but then he thought briefly about all that had happened and decided that perhaps it would be best for Bugs if he stayed the night.

The duck pulled a reclining chair in the corner of the burrow over and sat beside Bugs' bed, leaning back in the chair and watching the rabbit.

As he watched Bugs sleep, he thought more about what he had recalled - the past. A long time in the past, when they had been close. A time when Daffy wasn't nearly as spoiled or stubborn. A time when Bugs was his hero.

Not that Bugs wasn't _still_ his hero. It was just that back in those days, Daffy would openly admit it whenever he could.

Daffy couldn't remember what made him the way he was now. He now showed his affection toward the rabbit via insults, threats, teasing, and methods of the like. Either way, Bugs was still the same old Bugs - whatever changed Daffy had little to no effect on the rabbit. The only thing Daffy knew thus far was capable of changing Bugs had recently turned out to be helplessness with a large amount of both physical and mental stress.

Daffy pondered on that for a moment. Was Bugs changing? And if so, was he changing for the better or for the worst?

For some reason, only then did Daffy notice that Bugs was holding onto a small bottle. He gently took it out of Bugs' hands and looked at it.  
It was a bottle of _Novo-Peridol_.  
Daffy gazed off into space as he thought about the irony involved in Bugs having this. He then put the bottle down on the bedside table.

He sat up and reached out, grabbing gentle hold of Bugs' delicate gloved hands. The gloves were still dirty.

"Pleasthe... Don't _change_, Bugsth. _Don't change_..."

* * *

Daffy Duck ran as fast as he could, pulling along a rather reluctant Bugs Bunny. Bugs held his left arm, bleeding from three deep, long claw marks down his forearm, close to his chest as he ran merely to prevent Daffy from dragging him.

"Daf, slow down!"

Daffy didn't respond. He just kept running.

"Daf, _slow down_! _Daffy_!"

Daffy stopped and turned around angrily. "Justht becausthe you wanna sthtay with him and throw your life away doesthn't mean I'll let you!"

"But, Da-"

"Don't '_But, Daffy_' me, bub! It'sth not up for argument! I'm keepin' ya sthafe and alive at all costhtsth from now on, and that'sth _that_!"

Bugs' face grew a little hot. "D-... You... mean...?"

"Mean _what_?! What are you _blushin_' about, _sthupid_?!"

"You mean d'at you're gonna be my guardian angel or somet'ing? D'at you're gonna defend me no matter what?"

"That'sth what I _sthaid_, isthn't it?!" Daffy crossed his arms and looked away as Bugs beamed at him, teeming with new-found respect for the duck in front of him. "What are you sthmilin' at?"

"Oh, nut'in', Daf." Bugs said happily. Suddenly, he frowned.

"What _now_?"

"My head hoits, Daf."

"Stho what?"

He shrugged. "I guess it's nut'in'..."

Daffy rolled his eyes. "Make up your mind. Doesth it matter or not?"

"My head just hoits all of the sudden is all."

"How much?"

"A..." He hesitated. "J-... Just a _little_."

"Sthoundsth like you're _lyin_' to me, Bugsth."

"I'm not lyin'."

"How much doesth it hurt?"

"A little." He stuck with that answer. "I just need some _coh-dee-neh_ and I'll be fit as a fiddle."

"It'sth pronouncthed '_coh-deen_', you illiterate sthnot. Besthidesth, I think what you could _really_ usthe right about now isth sthome _haloperidol_."

"Pahdon?"

"_Nothin_'~. Come on, we'd better get a move on unlessth we want that coyote _nutcasthe_ followin' usth." Daffy started to continue on his way, and seeing nothing better to do, Bugs followed him.

When Bugs sped up to walk beside Daffy, it was only because he could have sworn he felt something behind him - trying to grab him - yet when he turned back, he saw nothing but desert.


	10. Sucrer les Carottes

Bugs Bunny woke with a jolt. He found that he was in his own bed back in his burrow, and his head hurt like hell.

"Oh, my _achin'_ he-... -_ad_...?" That's when Bugs noticed Daffy Duck asleep in his reclining chair, which had been moved beside the bed to Bugs' left. He looked down to the bedside table and saw the prescription bottle he'd been given back at the hospital after he told the doctors what had been going through his head recently as well as the things he'd been seeing.

The rabbit sluggishly picked the bottle up. "Novo-peridol...?" He whispered to himself. He didn't know what the drug was supposed to do or why he had to take it, but he wondered if perhaps it would rid him of his horrible headache - the headache was so bad that he could hardly move, but he tried to stand by getting off of the bed to his right anyways.

Bugs shuffled his feet in the direction of his bathroom (sure, it was a burrow, but Bugs enjoyed pampering his want for such things). As he walked, he dragged a hand down his face - he felt terrible.

The rabbit managed to make it to the bathroom sink, and he looked up into the mirror. "Whoa, I look exhausted..." Thinking about that, he realized he did _feel_ exhausted...  
He shook the thought his head, but wondered what time it was. Regardless, he popped open the bottle of round orange tablets. It said for him to take two times daily with food, so he pulled a carrot from god-knows-where as he usually did.  
With a small gulp, Bugs palmed one tablet and downed it before closing up the bottle and munching on his carrot nervously, patting his foot against the floor while leaning against the sink.

When Bugs finished the carrot, he turned back around. Looking in the mirror, his ears drooped, his eyes widened, and his nose twitched. Slowly, he turned, only to have Wile E. Coyote's hands wrap around his throat. The closed bottle of medication fell over onto the floor as Wile E. forced Bugs up onto the sink, continuing to choke him.

"D-Daffy...!" Bugs kept trying to cry out, but he only managed to choke it.  
With the blink of an eye, however, Bugs suddenly realized that it wasn't Wile E. choking him, but Daffy!

"Die, you sthtupid rabbit. _Die_!" Daffy shouted as he tightened his grip on Bugs' throat. Bugs shut his eyes as he struggled to breathe and clawed at Daffy's hands. He tried to wrap his legs around the duck to pull him into the sink and perhaps stun him, but the most Bugs could do was kick off to the side.

He could feel himself getting woozy. "D-Daf... S-... St-... _stop_..."

No answer.

"D-Daffy, qu-... qui-..."

No answer.

"D-_don't_..."

No answer.

Bugs forced his eyes open to see that Daffy was no longer there. Confused, he pulled his hands away from his own throat - they were wrapped around it, but he didn't seem to register that. "D-... _Daffy_?"

Bugs stepped out of the bathroom and looked out at Daffy, who was still asleep in the reclining chair. Only then did Bugs realize he'd been strangling himself.

He started to panic a little for a moment with the realization that it'd been nothing but a hallucination - he'd never really hallucinated like that before - but then he forced himself to calm down a little. Surely it wouldn't happen again, and Daffy would never really try to hurt him like that... would he?

As he stepped back into the main room, he started to feel strange. It was a mildly out-of-control sort of feeling, and he didn't like it, not one bit. He walked over to Daffy and stared down at the sleeping duck. The rabbit glanced down at his own dirtied gloves, and then stared at the pearl choker around Daffy's throat, the one that gave him the appearance of some sort of goose.

Some sort of desire suddenly made him tremble. He shakily reached his hands out for Daffy's throat, wrapping his fingers around the duck's slender throat.

His eyes lost their focus and he found himself paying attention to nothing but Daffy's face, slowly tightening his hold on the duck's neck. His heart was pounding in his ears - he felt _excited_ by the idea of choking the duck out while he slept. Then maybe he'd-

Bugs snapped out of it and pulled his hands back. "What am I _doin'_...?!" He slowly sat down on the bed in front of Daffy.  
Soon he concluded it would be best if he stopping staring at the duck while he was most vulnerable, and so he laid down in the bed with his back to Daffy and tried to go to sleep.

* * *

Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny ran and ran until the duck finally stopped at the filming studio. "Come on, we're late!"

Bugs stopped. "Daf, I'm hoit. I don't t'ink we should film 'til I at least get d'is bandaged." He said, revealing his blood-covered left forearm to the duck.

Daffy noticed that when he and Bugs arrived, the crew-workers outside all backed away and murmured amongst themselves. They all stared at Bugs as they gossiped.

"Ehh, what's up, _Doc_?"

They gasped and speed-walked away.

Bugs' ears drooped. "Daffy, what's wit' d'em?"

"What'sth with who?" Daffy dismissed the crew-workers as if they meant nothing to him, which was probably accurate all the time.

Bugs shrugged. "Uh... Nut'in'."

The duo walked into the studio, and workers kept avoiding Bugs as best they could.

"I still say we should bandage d'is arm, Daf. It hoits pretty bad, too."

"Oh, put a _sthock_ in it. If it hurt that bad, you'd be cryin'."

Bugs dramatically raised his right arm to cover his eyes. "Oh, d'e pain! Oh, d'e _ah-goh-nee~yee_!" He quickly peaked out from under his arm and looked around to see that everyone looked frightened of him except for Daffy. "... Tough crowd. What's eatin' youse?"

Porky Pig walked through the workers casually and grinned when he saw Bugs. "B-B-Bugs! There you are!"

The workers shifted their stunned gaze to Porky as he walked right up to Bugs, who now looked confused and even a little scared.

"Porky, what's goin' on here? Why's everyone lookin' at me like d'at?"

Porky shrugged as he stared back at the workers. He looked back at Bugs and finally noticed his wounded arm. "O-oh my g-gosh! Bugs, are you ok-o-ok-o-alright?! What h-happened?!"

"A cthertain Wile E. Coyote happened, that'sth what." Daffy replied, earning himself a harsh glare from Bugs.

"Cut it _out_, Daf." Bugs looked back at Porky. "Don't listen to him; you know how he always lies. Wile E. Coyote has nut'in' to do wit' d'is little cut here."

"Lyin'?! I'm not lyin'!" Daffy countered.

Bugs pat Daffy's head. "You're a pat'ological liar, Daf - ain't _nut'in'_ gonna change d'at."

Daffy growled. "I sthaved you, and _thisth_ isth how you _repay_ me?!"

"_Saved_ me? I _didn't want_ to _leave_, Daffy!" Bugs argued, apparently forgetting that he and Daffy were currently being stared at by Porky and a huge amount of the rest of the production crew.

"He wasth gonna _eat_ you!"

"You only saved _me_ to save _your career_, isn't that _right_, Daf?!"

"What?!"

"I _know_ you! You don't care if he only wanted to treat me like a guest - you just _had_ to get me back or else your _career_ would fall apart! You saved me for the pay!"

"That isth _not_ true!" Daffy half-lied. While it was true that Daffy had saved Bugs to save his job, he also had saved Bugs because they were friends - not that he was willing to admit to either of those reasons.

"D'en why _did_ you save me, _huh_?! Why couldn't you have just _left_ me d'ere wit' him? I wouldn't be hoit right now if you didn't force me to go wit' you!"

"Oh, justht _shut up_! You're _disthpicable_! I don't _need_ you! I take back what I sthaid before, busthter - you're on your own! Now _good day to you_!" His point apparently made in some way, Daffy stormed off.

Bugs crossed his arms best he could, an ear drooped down to show his frustration. "_Joik_."


	11. Être à Deux Doigts de Devenant Loufoque

Daffy Duck awoke to the sound of Bugs Bunny groaning his name.

"_Huh_...? _Whuzzat_...?" He grumbled as he sat up.

Bugs was still in his bed, and was tossing and turning while crying out in his sleep. "_Da~ffy_... _No~o_..."

Daffy stood up and leaned over the distressed rabbit. He then started shaking him. "Bugsth, wake up."

"_Da~ffy~_..."

"Wake up, Bugsth."

"_No_..."

"Bugsth!"

Bugs' eyes snapped open, and for a few seconds, he was only panting. Then he blinked, bolted upright, and let out a brief scream.

Daffy held him back a bit and then made him lay back down once he'd finished his scream. He sat next to Bugs and sort of leaned over him, petting him a little. "_Relax_, Bugsth. It wasth only a nightmare."

"A nightmare..." Bugs repeated.

"... _Yeah_. A nightmare.

"A nightmare..."

"_Yeah_, a _nightmare_."

"A n-"

"_YESTH_, IT WASTH _ONLY_ A _NIGHTMARE_!"

Bugs' eyes snapped to look up at the rabbit hole above them, his ears drooping and twitching around as if trying to hide from some obscure noise.

"Bugsth?"

"Daff... Do ya hear d'at?"

"Hear what?"

"D'ey're out d'ere."

"Who'sth '_they_'?"

"Ssh - d'ey'll _hear_ ya, Daff!" Bugs hissed, not taking his eyes off of the hole.

"_I_ don't hear anythin', Bugsth."

Slowly, Bugs' ears rose back to normal. "D'ey've... D'ey've stopped. Are d'ey hidin'...?"

"What are you talkin' about?"

"Don't play _dumb_, Daffy. You know I hate when you do d'at."

"Are you trying to sthay it'sth my _level of intelligencthe_ that preventsth me from hearin' your _crazy hallucthinasthionsth_?"

"I'm not _crazy_, Daffy. It _wasn't_ a hallucination. You probably just couldn't hear d'ose t'in's because yer ears aren't as good as mine." The determination in Bugs' voice as he said this was, on its own, enough to prove to Daffy that arguing about the rabbit's sanity was a dead-end.

Daffy sighed and rubbed back the strands of hair-like feathers on the top of his head, only for them to bounce back to their natural positions. "Whatever you _sthay_, Bugsth..."

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"Not really."

For some reason, Bugs smiled at this response. First a small smirk, then a large grin, then he started to laugh.

"... Are... Are you _okay_?"

"I'm _glad_ I have ya, Daff."

"Huh...?" Daffy was confused - he wasn't sure whether to be flattered or not.

"Yer brutally honest in _all the right ways_. Poihaps I _do_ need some _poifessional help_... I t'ink you would make a _fine_ psychologist for me."

"How did thisth..."

"You'll help me, won't you, Daff?"

Daffy hesitated, still trying to wrap his mind around Bugs' sudden 'suggestion'.

"_Won't_ you?"

"... Of coursthe I will."

* * *

Bugs Bunny's scream was what made Daffy Duck turn back and start running toward where he'd left him.

"Bugs!" Porky Pig called out.

When Daffy made it back to the entrance of the studio, Porky was looking out the door. Bugs was nowhere to be seen.

"Where'sth Bugsth?!" Daffy snarled as he yanked Porky by the collar of his blue coat.

"H-h-he suddenly scr-screamed at something and ran out! I don't-"

Daffy threw Porky aside and ran out after Bugs. "_BUGSTH_!"

"Daffy?!" Bugs, not too far away, skid to a stop and whipped around to face the duck that ran after him.

Trying to stop, Daffy ended up sliding into Bugs. He expected to knock him over and end up in a mess of tangled limbs or something cartoony of the like, but instead he slid to a stop and opened his eyes to find Bugs had jumped up and was hooked onto his front like some sort of child.

"Keep runnin, Daff...!"

"What? Why?" Daffy asked, his arms outstretched by his side out of surprise.

"Run back for Porky, but d'en let's keep running!"

"What are you _talkin'_ about? Why would I do that?"

"You didn't _see_ him?! Wile E.! He's d'ere!"

"_What_?!" Daffy quacked in shock. "How did he get there before usth?!"

"I dunno!"

"Forget Porky, then - he'sth on histh own!"

"_Daffy_!" Bugs snapped. "We are _not_ leavin' Porky behind wit' him!"

"Why _not_?! That psthychotic coyote'sth after _you_, anywaysth!"

"_Yeah_, and I'm coitain he'll _kill_ whoever gets in his way! So we're goin' back to rescue Porky, and d'at's final!"

Daffy grumbled. "Fine! But you're gonna _owe_ me after thisth..."

"So be it."

Daffy ran back to the studio with Bugs still holding onto him, the difference now being that he was supporting his weight with his own hands under the rabbit's thighs.

When they arrived, Porky was still by the entrance, but now he was having some sort of lengthy discussion with Yosemite Sam.

"_Yo_! Porky, cowboy!"

Porky turned to face them. "Oh, D-D-Daffy! You got Bugs b-back."

At being mentioned, Bugs dug his hands into Daffy's back a bit and seemed to try melting into the crook of his neck. Daffy ignored this best he could.

"Have either of you stheen Wile E. Coyote around?" The duck asked them.

Porky looked at Sam for a moment, and when they both turned back to Daffy, Porky shook his head and Sam shrugged.

"Well, he'sth _here_. Bugsth sthaw him." Daffy moved his head down a little to try getting a look at Bugs. "Hey, Bugsthie?"

"What?" Bugs asked in a muffled way, his face still buried near Daffy's collarbone.

"Where'd you sthee him?"

The rabbit pointed blindly to the corridor leading to the dressing rooms.

"Alright, lemme go now." Daffy tried to pry Bugs off, but the rabbit only held onto him tighter.

"Yer not leavin' me, Daff."

"If he'sth there and we run into him, he'll rip you off of me and sthtab you or sthomethin'. Get off - you can follow me on foot if you mustht."

With some sort of disapproving groan, Bugs slowly got off of Daffy and stood behind him. "Lead t'e way, Doc..."

Porky and Sam followed not far behind Bugs, creating something like a cautiously moving conga line. They walked into the corridor lined with dressing rooms - the one for Wile E. was open, and the sight seemed to make Bugs hesitate.

Daffy got against the wall and peaked in. The small room was empty. He looked back at Bugs. "He'sth not in here."

"He must have-" Before Bugs could finish, Porky spoke up.

"Uh, B-Bugs, weren't _you_ the o-one who o-opened this door?"

Bugs looked back at Porky in a confused way. "What? No, he opened it himself. D'at's why I ran. He came out and he just... _grinned_ at me."

"I probably would've known if he c-came in. When I c-came out to gr-greet you and D-Daffy, I'd just come from my dr-dr-dr-dressing room." The pig gestured to the door with his own name on it to somehow back up his argument.

Bugs turned to fully face Porky. "What - you don't believe me?" He said in a rather menacing manner.

"Bugsth... Bugsth, stht-" Daffy tried to calm his partner and reached to place a hand on his shoulder, but Bugs smacked it away without even looking his way.

"You t'ink I'm makin' d'is up, is _d'at_ it?" Bugs bent over to really glare into Porky's blue-ish eyes.

Porky shuddered a bit. "N-... N-n-no, that's... That's not what I m-meant."

Bugs turned again, now sicking his intimidating gaze upon Daffy.

"Whoa, _hey_ - what did I do to destherve sthuch a look?"

The rabbit's gaze softened. "Sorry..." He mumbled. "I just wanna get outta here."

"I thought you wanted to _be_ _with_ that sthick freak. Why do you wanna run from him all of the sudden?"

Bugs raised his still-wounded left arm. "D'is, for one t'in'."

"Um... E-excuse me for b-butting in... but..." Porky cleared his throat, making the duo in front of him look in his direction. "P-perhaps this is inappropriate, but... maybe we should g-go to the hospital. Bugs could have that n-n-nasty wound treated and we could check on El-Elmer."

Both Bugs and Daffy raised a brow.

"Visthit Elmer? Sthorry, I'd rather not take a sthtop at a morgue."

"_Morgue_? Wh-what are you _talking about_?"

Bugs became petrified, his eyes locked on Porky.

"... You guys think that he's d-d-_dead_?"


	12. Mauvais Poil

It took about two months for unusual events to again plague the life of Daffy Duck. In that time, Bugs Bunny had spent weeks at a time completely vanishing from civilization. Daffy had the aching suspicion that the hare/rabbit hybrid was off visiting Wile E. Coyote privately during these times, but he never said anything of it to anyone.

Also in that time, the filming studio called for a new Looney Tunes series. Everyone was really excited about it until it came to light that the show would rely on scripted scenes - less unpredictability and more plot.

"D'is is _moronic_!" Bugs had protested when he was informed of this a day later than everyone else (he had been 'away' on one of his week-long disappearances the day before). "D'is isn't t'e true spirit of our cartoons! I _refuse_ t'take part in d'is!"

However, Bugs was forced into doing it anyways. The constantly-growing lack of control over his career had a noticeable effect on him - he'd stopped having as much fun during filming, and adopted his '_new personality_' almost consistently.

Daffy, on the other hand, was having loads of fun. He had never been one for winging things, and he loved playing stupid like he was now supposed to on camera; though it had at first seemed like an insult that his personality would be changed so drastically.

After a month of filming this new series, Bugs and Daffy were being filmed in a scene together in which Daffy was acting stupid and greedy as '_per norm_.' They were supposed to bicker dramatically, Daffy countering Bugs' serious argument with senseless remarks and attempts to change to subject.

"Well, you know, we're outta coffee, Bugsth! You should go buy sthome." Daffy said and turned, following the script. He was stunned when Bugs simply replied, "Sure."

"CUT! _CUT_!" The director shouted.

Daffy turned and shot Bugs a look.

"Keep filming!" The rabbit argued. "I've got an idea t'make d'is scene funny!"

"This scene isn't _supposed_ to be funny!" The screen-writer shot back.

"D'is is_ Looney Tunes_, Doc! _When_ isn't _Looney Tunes funny_?!"

"Since you signed your contract! Look, Mr. Bunny, we have your best interests in mind."

"Apparently not! If d'at were true, you'd ditch d'ese _stupid_ scripts!" As if trying to prove his point, Bugs pulled out his script, shook it in the air a bit, and threw it down.

"There's no profit anymore in random nonsense, Mr. Bunny." The director cut in.

"I don't care about _profit_! I just wanna do what I do best - _improvise_!"

"I thought what you did bestht was crossthdressth?" Daffy joked.

Bugs whipped around and raised his hand to hit Daffy, making everyone on set jump up to break up the fight that would proceed, but the rabbit suddenly stopped short. The anger on his face disappeared, leaving him virtually expressionless.

Daffy dropped his hands, which he'd raised as a defense attempt, and looked at Bugs' blank face.

A long moment of silence followed, and then Bugs kicked his dropped script across the room and stormed off of the set in a furious huff. Everyone collectively let out a sigh when they heard Bugs' dressing room door slam shut.

"I'll go talk to him." Daffy murmured.

After that, Bugs had been surprisingly quiet. He hardly gave his opinion on any changes/additions to the show, and he remained neutral in any arguments between the production crew and the actors.

Another month went by, and then one day Speedy Gonzales didn't arrive for filming.

"What do you mean we _can't film without him_?!" Daffy roared when his suggestion to simply cut him out was denied.

"He's essential to the plot of the episode!" was the counter from the screen-writer.

Daffy groaned loudly in disdain. "Bugsth, do you have any idea where he isth?"

"Where _who_ is?" Bugs raised his head and asked in his developed-over-the-past-two-months monotone way.

"Sthpeedy. He'sth not here if you've failed to noticthe, and what'sth worsthe, he'sth important to thisth episthode. Of all daysth for him to not show up..."

"Sorry, Daff. I've no idea where he is." Bugs lowered his head again.

At this point, Daffy was getting frustrated. "Lift your head, Bugsth."

Bugs didn't respond.

"_Lift_ your _head_! Where'sth the Bugsth Bunny I know?! I don't like thisth _sthpoil sthport_ in front of me!"

"Can I leave now?" Bugs asked, though not to Daffy.

Despite this, Daffy gave the answer before anyone else could speak. "No, you _can't_! _Sthuck_ it up! We're gonna find a way to work with what we've got, _right_?!"

The screen-writer stammered, but nevertheless nodded. "We'll have to postpone filming for a day, or at least until Speedy arrives..."

"There we g-... Wait, what."

Bugs took this response as him being granted a right to leave the set, so he took the offer up.

Daffy grumbled and hurried after the hare. "Bugsth, let'sth go out on the town." Daffy was pleased with the reaction this suggestion gained - Bugs came to an abrupt halt and slowly turned his head.

"... Go... out on the town...? Why on Eart' would I wanna do _d'at_?"

"Maybe it'll help you get your mind offa whatever'sth buggin' you."

Bugs stared uncertainly at Daffy for a long moment, as if trying to read his eyes for an alternate intention to cling to. Then, just as slowly as he'd looked over, he averted his gaze. "Well... _Fine_. I just..." He shook his head. "Never mind. Where are we going?"

"Let's go get sthome lunch and look for Sthpeedy. I'll pay."

"You _will_?"

"Pfft. No."

"Figured as much."


	13. Revenir à Ses Canard

Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny sat across from each other in a fast-food restaurant, a tray of food in front of them both. Daffy practically scarfed his food down, but Bugs simply picked at his.

As they sat in silence, Daffy stared at Bugs (who stared at the pattern on the plastic tray) and realized that this was the first time he'd really looked at the rabbit in two months.

Bugs had dark circles around his tired, weary eyes - his left eye almost looked _bruised_. The hair/fur on top of his head was more unkempt than Daffy remembered, and so was the scuff on either side of his white muzzle. Alongside these differences were things that slightly alarmed Daffy to the point of making him wonder how he _hadn't_ noticed - the rabbit had scars on his arms and a few on his chest, as well as some hard-to-spot bruises here and there. It dawned on him then that Bugs' left eye really _was_ bruised.

Daffy didn't exactly swallow as he spoke, "Geez, what happened to _you_?"

A frown on his face, Bugs quietly looked up at Daffy. "... Pahdon?"

This time, Daffy swallowed before talking. "Those bruisthesth and sthcarsth. I never noticthed them 'til now."

Suddenly, Bugs was unable to meet Daffy's eye, and he lowered his solemn gaze back down to the tray. "... D'ey're nut'in', Daff..."

"'sth that the truth?"

Bugs slowly nodded.

"... Why don't you eat?"

"I'm... not particularly hungry..."

"You don't look like you've eaten in a while."

"I'm just _tired_, Daff... I wanna go home." He said quietly.

Daffy couldn't help but notice the tone in Bugs' voice - it sounded like the rabbit was gonna burst into tears or something. "... Are you _okay_, Bugsth?"

Bugs nodded rather feverishly. "Don't mind me, Doc... I just ain't feeling like my little ol' self lately..."

"Whatever you _sthay_, bub..." Daffy cleared his throat. "But, uh, we've sthtill gotta look for Sthpeedy."

"Speedy could be _anywhere_, though."

"Stho? We've gotta find him to continue filmin'."

"Eh... D'at's just it, Daff."

"What?"

Bugs locked his hands together underneath his chin, looking up at Daffy again. "Well... If we _don't_ find him, d'en the plot can't continue. The series would end, or at least lose its plot."

"I guess."

Bugs opened his hands out in a sort of '_that's my point_' gesture. "Get it?"

"Uh... No, not quite. You're sthayin' that... that we _shouldn't_ try to find Sthpeedy?"

"D'at's a rad'er _harsh_-sounding way of putting it... but _yes_."

"What if he'sth hurt or sthomething?"

"We should keep out of his business."

"No, I sthtill think we should go look for him. Let'sth go asthk around."

Bugs frowned heavily and jumped up to stop Daffy from leaving.  
"Daff, I-I don't really know if d'at's a _good_ idea."

Daffy's eyes got caught on Bugs' lower trunk - more specifically, on the three heavy scars that ran around Bugs' right-hand hip and down his inner thigh to his knee. "If those sthcarsth are _nothin'_, then how do you explain _that one_?"

Bugs' nose twitched, but he said nothing - he simply shifted his stance so that his right leg was, for the most part, hidden behind his left.

"What'sth the matter, Bugsth? Why do you look stho _nervousth_?"

"I just have a bad feeling, is all... I honestly t'ink we should keep our noses -"

"_Your_ nosthe and _my bill_, you mean."

"- out of Speedy's business."

Daffy opened his mouth to argue, but suddenly his cellphone started to ring. "Igh."

"Answer it." Bugs said casually.

Daffy pulled his phone out of his illogical-and-sudden pockets, and answered it. "Hello?"

"Daffy, something's going on here at the studio." said the voice of Tina Russo, Daffy's love interest in the current series.

"Oh, Tina. Nicthe of you to call me. Finally decided to read thosthe notesth I've been sthlippin' you, huh?"

"What? No, I got your number from Porky."

Daffy said nothing.

"Anyways, there are two cop guys here asking for Bugs. Don't ask me why-"

"What? Why?"

Tina sighed in frustration before continuing. "They're waiting around in the lobby and won't tell anyone what they're there for - just that they wanna talk to Bugs. I'm not getting a good feeling from them, Daffy."

"Thanks, Tina."

"What's going on?" Bugs asked.

Daffy hung up and put his cellphone away. "Looksth like we're going back to the sthtudio, Bugsth."

When the two of them returned to the station and entered, one of the two police officers walked over. "Are you Bugs Bunny?"

"Yessir. What's up, Doc?" Bugs replied.

"We're sorry to break the news like this, Mr. Bunny, but one of your co-workers, a Mr. Speedy Gonzales, was found dead this morning."

Everyone gasped in unison.

"Wh-_what_...?" Bugs stammered.

"We have witnesses to suggest that _you_ were the last person seen with him. We'd just like to ask you a few questions about last night."


	14. Jeter dans la Gueule du Oiseau Moqueur

A police officer and his partner stood in front of a table at the police station. At that table sat Bugs Bunny, a battered-looking nervous wreck who seemed so unlike the infamous Bugs Bunny of the cartoons.

"Mr. Bunny, where were you last night at 9 PM?"

Bugs put a finger to his buck teeth in thought. "Last night at 9? Well... I reckon I must'a been asleep, Mac."

The officer was about to move onto the next question when Bugs suddenly changed his answer.

"No, wait. D'at was the night before last night. Last night at 9 I was..." Bugs narrowed his eyes, scanning the room in a confused manner. "I was... Don't rush me!"

"Nobody's rushing you, Mr. Bu-"

"Yer rushin' me wit' yer eyes!" Bugs relaxed just as abruptly as he'd become agitated. "Last night at 9 I think I was... _uh_..." The rabbit chuckled nervously and scratched his head. "Well, uh, to be _entirely_ honest, Doc; I don't remember _much_ of last night to _begin with_."

"Then just tell us what you remember to start."

"Hm... Last night I was at d'e studio. Dunno _why_, exactly; I t'ink I was lookin' at today's script. When I looked over at the clock, it was around 8:50 or somet'ing. I decided d'at I'd better go home since we weren't gonna be recoiding ag'in 'til today." Bugs paused. "... D'en d'ere was d'is... _sharp pain_ in my head, and darkness. I woke up at home d'is morning. D'at's all I remember, honest."

"A sharp pain in your head?"

Bugs nodded. "D'ey're not unusual for me. Had a real bad t'ree days two mont's ago - the headaches are a constant reminder of d'em."

"Are you having a headache right now?"

"Yessir. It's not so bad right now, d'ough. Sometimes it gets t'be unbearable. I s'pose maybe it got real bad and I fainted last night, so someone carried me home."

"Do you take _medication_ for these headaches?"

"Yessir. _Coh-dee-nee_ and, eh... What's it called... _Novo-pee-ree-dawl_?"

"Novo-Peridol?"

"Yeah, d'at stuff."

The officer scribbled that down on a notepad. "_I see_. Did you take any Novo-Peridol last night?"

"No sir, I left it at home. I figured it wasn't such a big deal; to not take it for just one day. ... Say, d'ya have any idea what it's for?"

The officer gave Bugs a weird look.

"I was never told what it was prescribed for. What is it?"

"Novo-Peridol is an anti-psychotic drug."

Bugs froze up a little. "Eh... An... An _anti-psychotic_ drug? So _I'm psychotic_?"

"I'm not liable to make a comment on your mental health, Mr. Bunny, at least not without your medical records and advice or notes from a professional. I'm simply here to ask the questions I need answers to."

Bugs' brow furrowed a bit - he was noticeably concerned by this new information.

"Do you recall seeing Mr. Gonzales at all last night?"

"Uh... My head hoits, Doc. A _lot_. Could we take a break?"

The officer didn't respond. He looked impatient.

Bugs sighed. "_Fine_. Yes, I _do_ recall seeing Speedy last night. We didn't say anyt'ing, d'ough. Well... No, wait, _he did_ say somet'ing."

"What did he say?"

"He told me... d'at I did a _good job_..." Bugs fell silent and bowed his head. "... I... I can't believe d'at he's..."

"I understand this loss must be hard on you, Mr. Bunny."

An awkward silence filled the interrogation room until the officer's partner took over.

"Mr. Bunny, where are those injuries from?"

"Pahdon?"

"The scars and bruises. Where are they from?"

Bugs gulped and averted his now-wide eyes. "That's a... _personal_ matter, Doc. Besides, they're all old news."

"Really? That black eye you've got looks awfully fresh."

Bugs looked back up at his questioner. "What are you implying?"

"Well, we do know that there was a struggle before the victim was killed."

"Dude, the guy's like, d'is small. How could d'is black eye even have anyt'ing to do with him? He comes up to my ankle at best and his fist is the size of the tip of my pinky finger."

The partner dismissed Bugs' argument. "... and you seem to have a surprisingly faulty and hole-filled memory of last night."

"I didn't know I was talking to two opposing lawyers and that I was on the witness stand. Which one of you's got the name '_Finch_' embroidered on his shoit?"

"Mr. Bunny, be serious."

"_No_. I'm _sick_ of being serious. I have t'be serious _every day_ for the TV show I'm acting for. Now I dunno whed'er or not you're trying to accuse me of moidoiring Speedy, but if you are, you'd better _cut it out_, Doc."

"Nobody's accusing you of anything _yet_, Mr. Bunny."

"_Yet_. So you're not _accusing me yet_, but you _are_ insinuating that you _t'ink_ I killed him, huh? Is _d'at_ it?"

"Honestly, I didn't know what to think until you brought up the headaches and the anti-psychotic."

"Please, describe your assumption to me while I count how many times I feel the need to _care_." Bugs said offhandedly and started munching away on a carrot.

"I think you killed him yourself, whether you remember it or not."

"Not a big fan of me, are you, Doc? So what was it that set you off? The cartoon in which I teased some Aboriginals? Or was it the cartoon in which I outsmarted the Japanese soldiers?"

"Listen _here_, _Mr. Bunny_. You cut the shit, and maybe I won't _beat_ a confession out of you."

"Lis'n _here_, '_Mr. Police Officer, Sir_.' I don't know what you're talking about, and I'm fairly certain I could _sue_ you fer d'at."

"That's enough." The first officer to question Bugs intervened. "That's all the questions we have for now, Mr. Bunny. You can leave now, but don't go on any trips out of the city."

"Gotcha, sir." Bugs opened the door and looked back at the hostile partner. "D'at's not any way to treat a guest. Didn't your mud'er ever teach you _manners_?"

"'_Manners_' _this_, asshole." The partner flipped Bugs off.

Bugs rolled his eyes and left the police station, his thoughts stuck repeatedly reminding him that he was taking an anti-psychotic drug by means of prescription - he couldn't help but keep dwelling upon the worry that perhaps he _was_ crazy and just _didn't realize it_.


	15. Mettre le Doigt dans Yeux

Daffy Duck was lounging around outside the filming studio when suddenly Bugs Bunny's head popped out of the ground beside him.

"_Jesthusth_! Bugsth, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry..." Bugs jumped up out of the hole he'd made and sat next to Daffy. His eyes were reddened as if he'd just been crying, and the sniffling didn't really help prove otherwise.

"What happened? They let you go free, right?"

"For _now_."

"_For now_? Stheriousthly, what _happened_, Bugsth?"

Bugs let out a short laugh, though not humorously. "Well, it's half and half. One guy was completely on my side. The od'er t'inks d'at I killed Speedy myself..."

"What?! That'sth impossthible; he knowsth that, _right_?!"

Bugs shrugged offhandedly. After a long pause, he spoke up. "Daff... Do you know what Novo-Peridol is?"

"Yeah, it's an anti-psthychotic thing."

"You knew, but you never told me?"

"I figured you already knew what it wasth. I mean, _you are_ the one taking it after all."

Before Bugs could counter, Porky Pig suddenly stepped outside, carrying two booklets of paper. "O-oh, there you two a-are."

"What are the papersth, Porksthter?"

"Th-the scripts for t-tomorrow's episode."

Bugs looked up. "Wait, what? I t'ought we couldn't progress wit'out Speedy."

"Turns out they had a b-b-ba-back-up plan. Now the episode f-focuses on T-T-Ti-T-Tina."

Bugs suddenly shot to his feet, seeming mildly distressed. "I should get _home_, guys."

"What? But you only justht got back here!"

"My... I'm _really_ toired. I'll see you two tomorrow!" Before Daffy or Porky could protest, Bugs snatched a script from Porky and dived into the hole he'd emerged from minutes before before burrowing away.

"Pfft. What an egocthentric little-" Daffy's cellphone started to ring, so he answered it. "Hello, Daffy Duck sthpeaking."

"Hey, Daffy, it's me." replied Tina Russo from the other end.

"Oh, Tina! What a pleasthant sthurpristhe."

"Have you heard? I'm getting my big episode tomorrow."

"Yeah, I heard justht a few sthecondsth ago, actually."

"Well, I was thinking... Do you maybe..." Tina cleared her throat. "Do you maybe wanna go celebrate with me?"

Before Daffy knew it, he was sitting at a fancy table across from Tina. She locked eyes with him more than once, and Daffy could have sworn she was grazing his leg with hers under the table.

'_She'sth _flirtin'_ with me! Wowzersth, I can't _believe_ it!_' Daffy whooped in his mind.

It didn't take long for them to finish eating their small meals, and in that time, they mutually learned that they had a lot more in common than they originally thought.

"How about we..." Daffy put his hand over Tina's, earning himself an odd look that nearly made his nervousness show. "... go sthomewhere a bit more... '_private_?'"

Slowly, Tina smirked. She pulled out her wallet and carelessly slapped down more money on the table than was probably needed to pay, and then she stood, keeping her hand held in Daffy's. "Sure thing, handsome."

Next thing Daffy knew, he was behind the restaurant with Tina, hidden by the darkness in the back alley, making out with her.

'_And everyone told me I'd _never_ find the right girl. Showsth how little they know._' Daffy thought triumphantly.

Things were going swell for Daffy... at least, until someone tightly grabbed the three elongated feathers on the top of his head and used them to throw him down, and thus away from Tina.

"Agh! What the _h-_-" The last thing Daffy heard was Tina shout his name.

* * *

Bugs Bunny awoke to the sound of someone beckoning for him. He sat up in his bed, pulling the blankets up to his chest and hugging them close.

'_D'is wouldn't be the _first_ time I've hallucinated someone up there... Calm _down_, Bugs. Just get up and take yer meds, and d'ey'll go away, like _always_!_'

"_Bugsth_...!"

Bugs suddenly had second-thoughts. '_D-... _Daffy_? Was d'at _Daffy_? I've never hallucinated _Daffy's_ voice before... except for d'at _one_ time. Oh, and d'at _od'er_ time. And d'-_'

"Bugsth, _pleasthe_...! Are you _in there_...? Can you _hear_ me...? _Pleasthe_...!"

Hesitantly, Bugs stood up and went over to the hole leading up to outside. He hopped up as he usually did and cautiously stuck his head out.  
The sight before him was something he'd _never_ forget.

"_Bugsth_..." Daffy Duck cried in relief, his blood-covered arms outstretched a little towards the rabbit. In his right hand he held fast to a large, bloody knife, and he was practically _dyed_ _crimson_. "It'sth _Tina_... You've gotta _help_, Bugsth... You've _gotta_...!"


	16. Rester Bouche Cousue

Bugs Bunny knelt by his own bathtub, frantically scrubbing at a traumatized Daffy Duck, who sat still in the now-red water.

"Daff, you've gotta tell me what happened."

Daffy hadn't said a word since he entered Bugs' burrow and begged for help. Bugs had pried the knife out of Daffy's hand, and ended up having to drag the duck to the bathtub, so now he, too, was covered in blood.

"Daffy, I can't _help_ if ya won't _tell_ me anyt'ing!"

Still, the duck said nothing. He simply tried to curl into a fetal position for what had to have been the eightieth time in five minutes, and this time, Bugs let him.

The rabbit dropped the loofah he'd been using and sighed heavily.  
'_What am I gonna do? I should've just left him outside!_' He sighed again. '_Daffy probably hasn't cleaned up this mess... and judging by how he showed up, it's probably obvious who did it._' Bugs knew what he had to do.

Daffy was simply staring at the crimsoned suds in the water when Bugs' hand gently laid down upon his right shoulder.

"Daffy, come on, you've gotta _talk_ t'me. Where is she?"

Daffy slowly moved his head up, confused by the question.

"Tina. _Where's_ Tina?"

Still, Daffy didn't respond. Bugs sighed again, wondering why he even bothered trying to-

"... Behind a resthtaurant... in the back alley, next to a dumpsthter..."

Bugs quickly looked at Daffy. "_Which_ restaurant?"

"Heck if _I_ know the name of it... It'sth that cheap-assth resthtaurant that triesth t'be all fancy but really isthn't..."

"Oh, _d'at_ one. Sure, I know where d'at is." Bugs knelt back down and made Daffy look up at him with a hand under his bill. "I want you to stay _here_, okay? Make yerself at home, but _stay quiet_. If anyone shows up, hide under t'e bed. _Got it_?"

"Wha-...?"

"I'm gonna go..." Bugs averted his eyes. "... '_clean up_.'"

"I don't-"

"Get yerself cleaned up and keep a low profile. I'll take care of everyt'ing else."

"What are you _talkin'_ about?"

Bugs took off his blood-stained gloves and picked up the knife.

"What are you doin'?! You're gettin' your fingerprintsth all over the knife!"

Bugs looked over with a concerned look in his eyes as he continued incriminating himself. "Be _careful_, Daff." He mumbled before he turned to leave, picking up his gloves and taking them in his right hand, holding the knife in his left.

"_Bugsth_!" Daffy shot up. "Bugsth, _wait_!" Trying to get out of the tub in a hurry, Daffy only managed to slip. Bugs quickly turned and watched him hit the floor, but he quickly got back up to his feet. "What kind of _sthtupid_ sthtunt are you trying to pull? It's _obviousth_ that _I_ killed her."

"I can _change_ d'at, Daff."

"What givesth you the right to _play God_ like that?! Whether it foolsth the copsth or not, _you'll_ get arresthted - either for murder or for tamperin' with a crime scthene!" Daffy argued.

"Daffy, I'm not going to let d'is happen. You're my _best friend_. I can't just stand by and watch my best friend t'row his life away. I'll do whatever I can to change your fate."

Daffy found himself tearing up a little. "_Dammit_, Bugsth! I won't let you do thisth!"

"Too bad." Bugs tried to turn and leave, but Daffy caught his bare hand, irking him. "Please don't touch my hands when I'm not wearing gloves, Daff."

"I'm _not_ gonna let you go." Daffy snarled.

"What do I have to do to make you let me go, h-" Bugs stopped speaking when he was suddenly unable to. When he was able to speak again, he brought his hand up towards his front teeth, but couldn't muster up the courage to speak.

Daffy stared at him for a long moment, seeming arguably less stunned than Bugs was.

"... _Wh_-... What was _d'at_ for, D-Doc...?"

"What wasth _what_ for?"

"D-D'at _ki_-"

"Didn't you have sthomethin' you were gonna do?" Daffy cut him off, quickly changing the subject, his orange cheeks a tad rutilant. "Sthomethin' about bein' my hero?"


	17. Le Menteur Pathologique

Daffy Duck woke up the next morning in Bugs Bunny's bed.

'_Huh... _That'sth_ odd. I could've sthwore I dozed off in Bugsth' chair._'

The duck sat up, his body still tense from the horror of the nightmare he'd just woken up from, combined with the stress of last night. He was alone in Bugs' burrow, but he noticed a note on the bedstand beside him that hadn't been there the previous night.

"_Dear Daffy,_  
_I've taken care of everything. Don't fret._  
_Just act natural, and no one will suspect a thing._  
_You won't see me today. Just pretend you never saw me after yesterday._  
_Yours truly,_  
_B.B._"

Daffy put the note down. '_Bugsth mustht have moved me into the bed. Dammit... Isth thisth really happening? My head sthtill hurtsth like hell, too... How did thisth happen?_'

After preparing himself for one of his biggest facades yet, Daffy sneaked out of Bugs' burrow and headed for the filming studio. Already the two cops from before were there, but this time, it seemed like they'd already told everyone else what they'd found by the scared looks on their faces.

When Daffy walked in, they turned to face him.

"Ah, Mr. Duck, just the person we wanted to see." said the leading officer's aggressive partner.

"Yesth? What, do you need me to sthign sthome autographsth? What are you two clownsth doing back here?"

"I assume you haven't heard. Your co-worker, Tina Russo, was found dead last night."

Daffy feigned a horrified gasp. "Wh-... What? Tina... Tina'sth _dead_...?"

"Don't play _dumb_, Mr. Duck. We know you were there."

"What? What are you talkin' about?"

"_Your blood was found on the knife_."

Daffy's bill melted. '_I never told Bugsth that I cut mysthelf on the knife...!_' He hid his right hand, the one with a small cut on the thumb, behind his back as casually as he could. "I've got no idea what you're talkin' about."

"Yeah, yeah. You're coming back to the station with us to answer some questions, Mr. Duck."

"Don't touch me! I'll sthue! I'll call my agent!"

Despite these threats, Daffy found himself in the interrogation room at the police station within half an hour.

"Mr. Duck, where were you last night at around 8:30 PM?" asking the leading officer.

Daffy thought for a moment. He could just as easily lie and keep himself moderately uninvolved as he could tell a modified version of the truth...  
'_The latter would be easthier. They already know I'm involved sthomehow._'

"Please, take your time, Mr. Duck. Tell us everything you remember - every detail can be important."

Daffy sighed, hoping he wasn't about to make a horrible mistake. "Well... Lastht night, around 8:30 PM... I wasth at sthome resthtaurant with Tina. We ate dinner, and then we went into the back alley to be alone. We, uh... We _kissthed_ a little, when sthuddenly sthomeone grabbed me and threw me down. Then I guessth they knocked me out. Next thing I knew, I wasth... on my porch."

The officer's partner slammed his fists down on the table. "Tell us the goddamned truth, duck!"

"What do you mean? I _did_!"

The officer held a hand out to silence his partner before returning to questioning Daffy. "Do you know where Bugs Bunny is?"

"What? Why?"

"We need to interrogate him more thoroughly. Eyewitnesses say that they saw him last night, walking around covered in blood like some sort of public display. Personally, I'm not sure how reliable these claims are... but we have to look into them, just in case."

Daffy sighed. "Sthorry, pal - I dunno _where_ Bugsth isth. I wish I did."

Daffy was dismissed from the police station, and it was then that Daffy decided upon what he needed to do - he needed to find out where Bugs Bunny was hiding.


	18. Stockholm et Lima

Daffy Duck's biggest hunch was that whenever Bugs Bunny vanished from civilization, he was most likely in the desert with Wile E. Coyote. He hadn't seen the coyote for two months now, not since his first fight with him while trying to save his career and Bugs.

The scars on Bugs told a story to Daffy, though - he assumed it was some sort of abusive relationship. Wile E. clearly got kicks out of being a sadist, and Bugs could be rather masochistic at times. Plus, Wile E. had long, sharp claws capable of raking through flesh... especially flesh as delicate as Bugs'.

Where else would a fugitive _Stockholm_, covered in blood, be able to run but to his strong, sadistic, insanity-embracing _Lima_? It was like some sort of demented, twisted love story with a bad ending on the way.

As it was, Daffy trudged through the desert. He hoped that Wile E. hadn't changed locations, and was pleased when he found that his hoping had apparently changed his relatively bad luck.

Slowly, the duck approached the coyote's den. Slowly, of course, because he could already faintly hear Bugs inside. The sounds Bugs made weren't like any Daffy had ever heard the rabbit make, and as such he wasn't entirely sure how to interpret them.

'_Isth he... Isth he getting _hurt_? Or isth _he_..._' Daffy's cheeks flushed at the latter thought. He couldn't help himself, and carefully peeked into the den to see what was going on.

Wile E. shoved Bugs against the wall and held him in place by the throat with his forearm. He had a malicious smirk spread across his face, and even from where he stood watching, Daffy could see pure madness in his stare.

"D-d'at all ya _got_, Doc?" Bugs stammered in a flirty way.

Wile E. dug his claws into Bugs' upper rightmost pelvis, making the rabbit cringe and dig his ungloved fingers into the coyote's matted fur. His grip tightened and he made another strange sound in his throat, sort of like a moan, as Wile E. began creating three long gashes toward a rather intimate spot on the rabbit's lower trunk.

"MY _GOD_!" Daffy blurted almost uncontrollably.

Bugs looked over quickly, his eyes wide and wild-looking. "_Daffy_?!"

"Get your handsth _off of him_!" Daffy shouted at Wile E.

The coyote snarled at Daffy. He wrapped a hand around Bugs' skinny neck and threw the rabbit to the floor behind him as he turned to face the duck in front of him.

"Come on, _pal_ - you wanna_ fight_?! _Huh_?! You wanna come facthe to facthe with _Duck Dodgersth_?!"

"Daffy, _stop_!" Bugs protested.

"_You're_ one to talk and tell me what to do, now _aren't_ you?! You're _bleedin'_!"

"Daffy! Wile E.! Bot' of ya - _quit it_! _Don't fight_!"

Both Daffy and Wile E. turned their gazes to Bugs, who sat on the floor bleeding and tugging on his ears, staring down at the ground.

"I _hate_ when people fight... _Stop_... Don't fight... I don't want eid'er of youse hoit... _Please_... I give _bot' of you_ what you want. Daffy, you want yer career and t'be a free duck. I took blame fer Tina's moidah so you could keep _bot'_. Wile E., you want someone who won't fight you. I let ya do _whatever_ yer heart desoiahs t'me, and I don't fight. So _please_... Just give me _one_ t'ing I want - for both of you to tolerate each od'er just enough to not _hoit each od'er_..."

Daffy looked at Wile E. The two of them stared for a long moment, until Daffy held out his hand.  
"Tructhe?"

Wile E. seemed hesitant, but with a scowl on his face, he shook hands with Daffy.

Thus was the beginning of a fragile truce that was broken even from the point of its creation. Bugs had insisted that Daffy leave, and the duck did so, but as soon as he was able to get a signal on his cellphone, he was dialing the cops.

"Hello, _yesth_, Daffy Duck sthpeaking. I've found Bugsth Bunny. He'sth being held hosthtage by a Wile E. Coyote in a little cave in the desthert. ... Yesth. No, Wile E. _won't_ let him go. He'sth _hurtin'_ poor Bugsth, and I think _he_ may have killed Sthpeedy Gonzalesth and Tina Russtho. Pleasthe, sthend the S(th)WAT or sthomethin'!"

Within a few moments, Daffy was watching from afar as cops raided Wile E. Coyote's den, yanking the coyote and rabbit away from each other and to opposite vans - Wile E. to a police van, and Bugs to an ambulance.

"_NO_! WHAT ARE YA _DOIN'_?! _LEMME GO_!" Bugs screamed out in protest, reaching madly for Wile E. "LET _HIM_ GO! STOP, YOU MAROONS! _STOP_!"

Daffy couldn't hold back the victorious smirk that forced itself onto his bill. "Duck: _One_. Coyote: _Zip_."


	19. Ni Une ni Deux

Daffy Duck sat beside Bugs Bunny in the hospital's waiting room.  
Bugs had stitches and bandages all around his lower trunk, nearly creating the illusion of shorts. He was crying quietly, as well, and seemed effectively traumatized.

Daffy draped his arm around Bugs' shoulders. "Bugsth..."

"Don't touch me..."

Daffy slowly pulled his arm back with a heavy sigh.

"_You_ did d'is, didn't you...?"

"Honesthtly? Yesth."

"_Why_...? After what I did fer you... you _still_ do d'is t'me?"

"He wasth _hurtin'_ you. I want you _sthafe_."

"I'm going back to the studio." Bugs announced as he stood.

"B-"

"I have to tell the crew somethin'."

Daffy ended up following Bugs back to the filming studio, where Bugs got everyone there together.

"I dunno about you guys, but I t'ink d'ese moidahs are related t'the plot." The rabbit said.

"What?! You idjit, that doesn't make a _lick_ of sense!" protested Yosemite Sam.

"T'ink about it. Speedy became important to d'e plot. D'en he was killed. D'en Tina was important t'd'e plot. She was killed. Whoever's doin' d'is has access t'd'e script and doesn't want d'e plot to continue!"

"So then, I say, the killer's someone in this very room!" Foghorn Leghorn shouted, causing everyone else except for Bugs and Daffy to panic a bit.

"Wait a dang minute!" Sam interrupted everyone's panic and looked at Bugs. "You mean some varmint who has access to the script and don't want the plot to continue... _other than yerself_?"

Bugs seemed mildly alarmed by the indirect accusation. "What? _I_ don't want the plot t'come t'a halt."

"You _don't_?" Daffy sputtered. "Justht the other day you sthaid-"

Bugs shot Daffy a death glare. Luckily, no one else seemed to notice. The rabbit then turned to face his co-workers again. "Look, whatever t'e case, maybe we should make _me_ t'e main focus of t'e next script. I can defend myself, and-"

"No way." Daffy cut in again. "You're not takin' thisth opportunity away from me, you hog."

Porky narrowed his eyes at Daffy's irresponsible use of the word 'hog,' but said nothing.

"Daff, if t'e moidoirah really is focused on whoever's the main character fer t'e episode, d'en I'd much rad'er he be after me than anyone else." Bugs stepped closer to Daffy and whispered, "'Specially _you_."

"What were thosthe noisthesth you were makin' with Wile E.?" Daffy whispered back.

Bugs' face flushed and he loudly cleared his throat before once again turning back to his fellow actors. "So what's it to be, Docs?"

The screen-writer sighed and reported that Bugs was to be the star of next episode.

"Bugsth, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, Daff, wh-"

"In _private_?"

Bugs noticed the serious look on Daffy's face - it was almost uncharacteristic. "... Sure t'ing."

When he and Bugs were standing in the rabbit's dressing room with the door closed, Daffy started to speak. "Stheriousthly, what were thosthe noisthesth you were makin'?"

Bugs seemed taken aback by the question, and his face flushed again. He scoffed before saying, "Is d'at _all_ you wanted to ask me?"

"No, but I'm curiousth and I'm not going to leave you alone or asthk the other questhtionsth until you ansthwer that one."

Bugs fidgeted where he stood and tried to stammer out an answer. "Well... I... It... You mean you've never...?"

"Never what?"

"Never... _You know_..."

"I dunno what you mean. Besthidesth, wouldn't that hurt? Gettin' sthcratched there?"

"_Um_..."

"... Any way you'd let me make you make thosthe sthoundsth for me?"

"Wh-_what_?!"

"The sthoundsth were sthtrangely pleasthurable to my earsth isth all."

"Jesus, Daffy, _no_!" Bugs shouted nervously, still blushing intensely. "Can we just change t'e subject already?!"

"Okay, okay. Jeezth." A serious look reappeared on Daffy's face as he remembered the main reason why he'd asked to talk to Bugs in private. "What are you, nutsth? It'sth clear that _I'm_ the killer, Bugsth."

"I don't t'ink so."

"Well, either way, you're gonna get yoursthelf into trouble by doin' what you're doin'! You've definitely already got the killer'sth attention, whether it'sth me or not!"

"D'at's good, ain't it?"

"Only if you're sthuicidal!"

"It's better d'an t'e moidoirah going after someone else. If you're so scared d'at I'm gonna get killed, maybe we should stick wit' each od'er tonight."

"What?"

"Maybe I should stay at yer place."

Daffy fell silent for a moment. "But Bugsth, I'm the killer. You'll be killed quicker if you sthtay with me."

"Look, Daff. I really don't t'ink d'at you're t'e moidoirah. D'is'll be proof as t'whed'er or not you're right to suspect yerself."

Daffy scowled. "... _Fine_. Have it your way. But I'd sthleep with one eye open if _I_ were you."


	20. Jamais Deux Sans Trois

Daffy Duck led Bugs Bunny back to his home. Unlike the rabbit, Daffy had actually bought himself a house with his pay - Bugs still lived in a burrow, though Daffy couldn't quite understand why.

"D'is is a pretty nice lookin' place, Daff. How'd ya manage d'is?"

"What do you mean?"

"How long'd it take t'build d'is?"

"_Build_ it? What do you think I am, a _carpenter_? I _bought_ it, Bugsth. With _money_."

Bugs frowned. "... Oh. I should'a known."

"Why don't you ever buy a housthe, Bugsth, insthtead of livin' in that hole?"

Bugs looked at Daffy with a serious look. "It's my home, Daff. I don't take well t'being stuck in one place, anyways. If I bought a house, I'd ditch it after a day or two and go buy a new one. D'at's just t'e way I am, I guess."

"I asthked for an ansthwer, not an autobiography. Anywaysth, come insthide and make yoursthelf at home. Justht don't dig a hole into my floor or I'll put your earsth into the garbage disthposthal."

Bugs walked inside and looked around. "A little messy, don't ya t'ink?"

"Oh, shut up."

Bugs giggled.

"I don't know about you, but I'm sthtarvin'." Daffy said, his own somewhat-egocentric way of asking Bugs if he were hungry or not.

Bugs shook his head. "I'm fine. I'll just stick wit' my carrots."

A concerned look appeared on Daffy's face as he looked Bugs over. "You sthure, pal? You don't look stho good."

Bugs raised a brow.

"You're lookin' pretty frail. Thin."

The rabbit/hare only snickered a bit at that response. "I'm alright, Daff."

"Doesth Wile E. ever feed you?"

"He gives me a lot of carrots."

"Pfft. Carrotsth hardly count asth food with how quickly you finish them. Doesth he _feed_ you?"

Bugs averted his eyes and paused. "... I'm just tired, Daff. Mind tellin' me where I can sleep?"

"Ansthwer the questhtion and I'll take you there."

"... Why does it matter?"

"You can't sthtarve yoursthelf."

"I'm really not hungry. So what if he doesn't feed me anyt'ing but carrots...? It doesn't matter."

"When'sth the lastht time you ate sthomethin'?"

"When I was questioned by d'ose cops."

Daffy's eyes bugged a bit. "What wasth that - two daysth ago?!"

Bugs timidly shrugged, apparently realizing the mistake he'd made giving that answer instead of a white lie.

"Sthit down, I'll get you sthomethin' to eat."

"No, Daff. I'm fine, really. I just wanna sleep."

Daffy sighed heavily. "Fine. But you're eatin' when you wake up."

Bugs didn't reply.

"Come on." Daffy led Bugs to the bedroom. "You can sthleep in here."

"Do you have anod'er bed for yourself?"

Daffy said nothing, knowing that if he said _no_, Bugs would be the type to refuse the offer. He simply turned and headed for the door. "Move sthomethin' stho that the door isth blocked justht in casthe. I'll sthee you in the mornin'. Goodnight, Bugsth."

"... 'Night."

Daffy closed the door behind him, sticking around until he heard Bugs move a dresser in front of the door, and then headed for the living room. He sat down on the couch and sighed again before leaning back, now laying down and staring at the ceiling.

He didn't know what time it was, but he eventually dozed off regardless of it - albeit with one eye open and with the worry that he might wake up to find Bugs dead tormenting him.


	21. Foutre le Bordel

Daffy was initially woken up by the sound of Bugs Bunny, upstairs, screaming at someone about a dream or something of the like. He tried to fall back asleep, but was then fully jolted awake by the sound of something falling down the stairs.

Quickly, the duck jumped to his feet. "Bugsth?"

Seeing as he received no response from the hare, Daffy cautiously walked out of the living room, only to find Bugs in an unconscious heap at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh no. B-... Bugsth? Bugsth, can you hear me?"

Bugs didn't respond in any way, shape, or form, causing Daffy to worry.

"Omigod omigod omigod omigod omi-"

"Nnh... D-... Daff...?"

Daffy dropped down to his knees next to the rabbit. "Bugsth! What happened?!"

"D-Daff... G-... get... get out of... d'e house..."

"Why?"

"N-not... safe..."

"Who did thisth?!"

Bugs seemed to have to think about that for a long moment. "... I dunno..."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Police! Open up!"

"Bugsth, can you sthtand?" Daffy asked in a hushed tone.

Bugs shook his head. "I t'ink I hurt my ankle in d'e fall..."

"Open this door, or we'll break it open!"

Daffy draped Bugs' arm over his own shoulders to help him up.

"Daff, what are you doing...?"

"I need to hide you."

"What? Daff, if ya do d'at and d'ey find out, d'ey'll arrest _you_, too...!"

"They're going to arrestht me anywaysth, it doesthn't matter, come on!" Daffy rushed and dragged Bugs along to the basement door. Realizing it would take too long to get Bugs down the stairs, he simply sat Bugs down on the first step down. "I'll try my bestht to make sthure they don't open thisth door."

"Daff... T'ink about d'is. Don't _do_ d'is." Bugs pleaded quietly.

"I don't have a choicthe. I'm not lettin' them take you now." After saying this, Daffy gently closed the door as to not make a lot of noise.

"We'll give you five seconds to open this door! Five!"

Daffy ran like mad for the door, preferring they not break it down, and managed to whip it open right before the officer yelling outside reached "One."

"Mr. Duck, we have a warrant to search your house." said the other officer.

"Geez, can't a guy get sthome shut-eye around here...?" Daffy complained, but decided to comply with the officers. Everyone was always saying that he was a master liar. Now it was time for him to pray that they were right.

The two officers welcomed themselves into Daffy's house. Daffy opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off when one of the officers pulled out a simple tape recorder and hit record.

"Do you mind if I record this, Mr. Duck?"

"... I sthupposthe not."

The other officer laughed gruffly. "Don't mind his weird habits. He's always recording shit. Wants to be a novelist or something."

"... Uh huh. Would either of you mind telling me what it isth exactly that you're _lookin'_ for?"

"Mr. Duck, when was the last time you saw Bugs Bunny?"

"Um... I can't sthay that I remember. Why?"

"Well, he is considered to be a fugitive now..." The officer said with a hint of sardonism in his tone.

"A_ fugitive_? What for?"

The other officer turned. "For murdering Speedy Gonzales and Tina Russo, that's _what for_."

"_What_?! You guysth _mustht_ be wrong. Bugsth would _never_ do that!"

"Oh, we think he _did_, and he also _WANTED_ to be caught! He took off his gloves and got his fingerprints everywhere! Face it, duck - he's a psychopath."

"He'sth really not."

"You haven't seen what he did to Tina's face." The officer growled under his breath.

"Well, mind givin' me sthome detailsth to work off of?"

"He gave her a Glasgow grin. Cut her fucking cheeks from ear to goddamned ear."

The vision of Tina's corpse as he'd seen it was still fresh in Daffy's mind, and he realized that either the officer was making shit up, or Bugs really had given her such an immortalized smile when he attempted to frame himself.

"No words, huh? Now maybe you'll tell us the fucking truth about where he is."

"Language, language. You're in _my_ housthe."

"So what?"

"Hey!" The other officer interrupted. "Be quiet for a minute! Did you hear that?"

For a long moment, everyone was silent.

"It sounded like it came from the basement."

Daffy and the brutish officer both remained silent.

"Fine. I'm going to go check it out, then. Stay here with Mr. Duck while I check it out, would you, Charles?"

'Charles' grumbled. "Whatever."

The nicer officer reached for the door handle, making Daffy stretch out his neck in anxiety, but when he opened it, Bugs wasn't there anymore. The officer walked further down the stairs, and disappeared into the basement, so Daffy tried to play it cool.

"_Charles_, huh? Not sthure if that name sthuitsth you, stheeing asth how I insthtantly assthocthiate it with a princthe and all..."

"Shut up." Charles snarled.

For a minute or two, all was quiet.

_Too_ quiet.

"Hey," Charles shouted down into the basement. "Are you still standing in there? I'm coming down."

"Aw, how cute. Stho you _do_ care about him."

"He's my partner. I have to care or else I'll lose my job." Charles then disappeared into the basement.

Daffy was both relieved to be alone and scared that Bugs had been found downstairs, so he really didn't know what to do. He was somewhat eased by the peace and quiet - that was, until Charles ran back upstairs.

"You bastard! You were hiding him in the basement, weren't you?!"

"Hidin' who?!" Daffy argued.

"That goddamned crazy ra-" There was some sort of sickening noise from behind Charles, and with it, the officer suddenly stopped speaking.

"... Ch-... Hey... _Hello_?"

Charles fell to his knees, and then forward onto his stomach, making Daffy skitter back a bit. Sticking out of the back of the officer's neck was a pair of thin-nose pliers, which could have been found in a useless little toolbox downstairs that Daffy had bought because he felt like it once.

Petrified, Daffy could do nothing but stare at the wound there for a long moment, but he quickly worked up the strength to slowly look up.

Standing in the doorway to the basement was Bugs Bunny, speckled with blood here and there, and with his forearms-to-fingertips essentially dyed by the substance. He stared down at the officer's body with the sort of look only someone who had killed before could give.

"B-... B-... Bugsth...?" Daffy stammered.

"Don't go downstairs, Daff. I'll take care of d'e mess later, but it's not somet'ing you should see."

Despite this, Daffy shoved past Bugs and hurried down the stairs. He reached up and turned on the light...

... and immediately wished that he hadn't.

Bugs casually walked back down into the basement, albeit with a slight limp due to his hurt ankle, at the sound of Daffy's hysterical scream.

Daffy leaned against the stairway, trying to puke but finding himself unable to as he hadn't eaten recently. He looked up at Bugs, who sort of just gazed at him.

"I _warned_ ya, Daff."

"_Why_?! _Why'd_ you do that to him?!"

"He would'a found me. D'en we'd _bot'_ be in trouble."

"Look at what you _did_ to him, Bugsth! _Look_!" Daffy screamed.

Bugs obeyed, however reluctantly, and gazed upon his handiwork. It looked to Daffy as if this were Bugs' first time really _looking_ at what he'd done, really _thinking_ about it, for the rabbit started to tremble.

"You could've justht knocked him out! What good did it do to..." Daffy gulped a bit. "T-to cut open histh sthtomach like that, and... and choke him out with hi-"

"_Shut up_!" Bugs shouted suddenly. "I _dunno_, Daff! I _dunno_ what good it did! It just... It just felt _right_ somehow!"

"_Felt right_?!"

Bugs sat himself down carelessly on the stair above the one he stood on and looked down between his large feet. "I just dunno, Daffy... I... I did what I had to. I couldn't stop. It's too late now, okay...? ... Do you think I'm _crazy_, Daffy?"

Daffy couldn't bring himself to answer. He wasn't even entirely sure if he was really there. Was he still asleep? Was this all just some whacked up nightmare?

"I only did what I had to do to keep you safe... So... Am I _crazy_ for that, Daffy?"


End file.
